Tomorrow is my first day of sophomore year. My mind is ready, my room - not so much... I still haven't unpacked the bag I took with me on vacation, my birthday presents are still in a heap on my desk and the floor is littered with checklists and old grammar exercises from last year.
I decided to clean the mess up (mostly so I could start creating a new mess with exciting sophomore stuff tomorrow), but I haven't done much yet. I picked up the first stack of papers, looked at them and found a note. Not just any note, but the little letter I wrote about a month ago to a guy I saw on the campground. After three days of weirdness, I'd had enough and decided to write a letter. A month later, the letter isn't going to make any difference anymore. I might as well share my silly teenage girl moment with you!

Dear random guy I saw on the campground,

Is there food stuck between my teeth? Is the skirt of my dress caught in my underwear? Did one of the zits on my face turn that alarming shade of yellow that means it's about to burst? What is it?
And what was it yesterday? Was I about to lose my shorts while swimming in the lake? Was my hair sticking out at weird angles? Were my glasses askew?
And the day before yesterday, when you first saw me while I was playing table tennis in the near darkness? Am I so pale that I looked like a ghost? Could you see my bra through my white top? Was I talking embarrassingly loud? Seriously, what was it?

I've caught you staring at me quite a few times now. I like getting some attention from guys my age, but you're making me nervous. You make me feel like something about me is just slightly wrong. Not very wrong, but just a little less good than it's supposed to be...
Maybe you're just staring at me because I'm ugly. You wouldn't be the first to do that. It would also explain why you start talking to those fifteen-year-old Barbie wannabes every time I catch you staring at me. But I refuse to believe that. A small voice in my mind suggested that and I promised myself not to listen to that voice anymore. If you don't think I'm ugly and there's no food stuck between my teeth or anything... Could that mean...?
Are you interested in me? Is that why you're looking at me? In that case you should know that I'm not going to be the first of us to say something. Last time I liked someone and put effort into getting to know him, he stomped on my heart. I don't want to take that risk for someone who might only be looking at me because my face looks weird when I play table tennis...

Quite frankly, I hope you say 'hi' tomorrow. I don't know why you're staring like that, but I think you're a nice guy. I can be pretty nice too. So don't be afraid and come over to say 'hi' tomorrow. I promise I'll answer you. 

See you tomorrow!
Envy

Of course I never gave him this letter. It ended up under the enormous pile of clothes in my tent, then almost got into the washing machine when we got home.
And the guy? Well, the next day he stared at me, but didn't say anything. I decided to start a conversation the next day. But when I walked to his tent, the place was empty, the tent gone, the guy and his family on their way back to Holland. Lesson learned: next time I'll say 'hi' straight away.

Stay Awesome!