On my first day of college, one of the sophomores gave me a piece of advice: "Always remember, when you're teaching you're not Envy. You're Ms. Fisher and that's totally different."
At first I was skeptical about that, but after a year of studying German to become a high school teacher, I understand that there's a big difference between Envy and Ms. Fisher. When I'm at school as a teacher, I can't be sarcastic or impatient. Believe me, that's one of the most difficult parts of being a teacher. Because the questions these kids asked on my first day as Ms. Fisher at the local high school, were sometimes simply unbelievable.

I am sorry but it's true. (source)

"Ms. Brave, why is that lady in our classroom?"
What I wanted to say: "'That lady' can hear you just fine and 'that lady' can answer that question too. I'm just doing an internship, no need to go crazy."

At the end of the day an 8th grade class came in. For some reason my presence caused them to freak out. Okay, maybe it's a little scary when a random girl is suddenly standing in the back of your classroom for no apparent reason, but is it really necessary to talk about her as if she isn't there? Well, 8th grade logic teaches us that it's totally necessary. Instead of just asking me what I was doing there, the class swarmed around my internship coach, bombarding her with that one question over and over again: 'Who is that?!'

What I did say: "Hi, I'm Ms. Fisher. I'm doing an internship here."


"Ms. Fisher, do you speak German?"
What I wanted to say: "No. No, I don't speak German. That's why I am here: to teach you German even though I myself can't even ask what time it is in this language."

As soon as the class was more or less calm, they started asking a whole lot of questions about me. One of them was, and I'm not kidding, the very important question: do you speak German? I wonder why these kids even asked that question. Why would I want to teach a language that I don't speak? There is absolutely no logic to find in this train of thought. At first I hoped they'd let it go if I answered another question first, but no. 'Do you, Ms. Fisher? Can you say something?' And thus I was forced to answer the most pointless question of all. Of course I answered in German, just to prove the point of the pointlessness of their question.

What I did say: "Wie bitte? Entschuldigung, aber das verstehe ich nicht"
(Translation: 'Excuse me, what? Sorry, but I don't understand that')


"Ms. Fisher, did you know that Ms. Higgins' first name is Tanya?"
What I wanted to say: "Hmm, I just came out of the teachers' lounge with Ms. Higgins. I've been talking to her for half an hour. I had no idea she even had a first name."

I remember those lessons when everyone was swapping teachers' first names like they were Pokémon cards. Usually it was in art class. I'd sit there and tell my friend how I discovered our biology teacher's name and her eyes would go wide. When you're in that class, you don't think of teachers as persons with a first name and a life (a life? Yes, teachers have a life, believe it or not).
At some point during the class, when grammar wasn't interesting to them anymore, some of the kids tried getting my attention again by saying random stuff. And let's be honest, what's more interesting to tell the new intern than the art teacher's first name? It doesn't matter that she probably already knows this, this valuable piece of information has to be shared with the world!

What I did say: "Yes, I knew that."


"Ms. Fisher... are you serious?"
What I wanted to say: "Sorry, that was the sarcasm speaking. I guess I am going to need a sarcasm sign for you."

At some point, I couldn't help it anymore. There was so much sarcasm waiting to be used, I just had to use some of it when the 8th graders asked me why I'd chosen German. The answer is actually a very complicated story about job perspectives, college curriculum, personal challenges and my perfect Californian accent, but I didn't want to bore my soon-to-be students with all that. So before I knew it, I'd sarcastically blurted out: 'I chose German because there weren't any places left for the English course.' The sarcasm was not detected by any of the 8th graders. I am so going to need a sarcasm sign for these kids.

What I did say: "No, I was kidding. I chose German because I love the language and because German food is awesome."


After 50 minutes, the bell rang. The kids walked out of the classroom and I? I burst out laughing. Right now I'm making fun of it, but this post right here is actually why I love being a teacher. Kids ask the funniest and most obvious things in class, without realizing it. And while part of me, which is sadly the part that controls my mouth, responds with sarcasm, a far bigger part of me writes all these things down and looks back on them with a smile. Being a teacher isn't easy, but it sure is great.

Stay Awesome!