Campground Conversation

by - 2:27 PM

I have a confession to make: I think European campgrounds are among the most boring places in the world. I'd rank them just below my doctor's waiting room, but slightly higher than B10, my math classroom in high school.
There isn't much to do on the average European campground: no tall trees to climb, no campfires (forbidden by law) and no great night sky to look at while you're pretending to know something about constellations. As a result, the hours spent on the campground are usually filled with the lamest conversations you can imagine. You will not believe the endless discussions about pointless things I've had, but here are my five favorite campground conversations of this year. Warning: read at own risk, may make you fall asleep.

#1: "Nice weather today"
Talking about the weather is something everyone does on an almost daily basis, but on the campground this overused topic reaches a new level of dullness. When the weather is good, people just say "nice weather" and confirm it a few times, even though a simple "yes it is" would have sufficed.
When the weather is bad, people ask each other about the weather forecast and, if no one has heard or read a forecast, they ask what the other person thinks the weather is going to be like. Since no one is a professional meteorologist, this conversation is completely pointless.
There's a third scenario for this conversation that we only see on cold days. My least favorite weather-related campground conversation goes like this:
"It was cold tonight, wasn't it?"
"Oh yes, very cold."
"Do you think those people in that tent were cold too?"
"Definitely! I think even those people in that caravan were cold!"
Can it get any more boring? I don't think so...

#2: "What kind of tent is that?"
Tents on campgrounds are to men what cars are to them in every day life: the most interesting there the universe has ever seen. Shape and color are important, but don't forget about size, amount of windows, 'bedrooms' and other features, like sunroofs and the way you can attach those to the tent. Walking around the campground and commenting on other people's tents is mandatory: "I think that one isn't as high as ours, but it does have more storage space!"
Great conversation...

#3: "Do you think that chair is comfortable?"
My dad loves talking tents, my mom prefers chairs. Put a few women together on a campground and soon they'll talk about how comfortable their chairs are. Color can be a real dealbreaker, but comfort wills always be the most important thing when it comes to chairs. Then there's also the amount of storage space the chair takes up: chairs shouldn't be too big, or the trunk of your car is filled with chairs instead of useful stuff like a tent. Oh, and let's not forget about the price!
"Those chairs look comfortable, but they're butt-ugly and probably very expensive too."
I really needed this piece of information in my life...

#4: "Where's the toilet paper?"
Fancy toilet paper for the win!
As I mentioned in my early days of blogging, some campgrounds don't provide toilet paper (read my rant about pink toilet paper here). There's not really a problem as long as you buy normal-looking toilet paper, but fact is that toilet paper has the tendency to get lost. Heated discussions arise: who was the last to see it? Who was the last to use it? Could it be in the car? Did someone leave it on the toilet?
These discussions got even more interesting when my parents came back from the supermarket with normal toilet paper as well as toilet paper with animal print and dragon print.
"I can't find the fancy animal toilet paper!"
Yeah, the print on your toilet paper really makes a difference...

#5: "There's a bee/wasp/mosquito in my tent!"
I'll admit that I've had this conversation at least once a day with my parents. For some reason every flying insect in the area decided to fly into our tent and eventually die there. After a week the back half of our tent looked like an insect graveyard. Still, it was worse when those bugs were still alive. Especially after a dying wasp decided to sting both me and my dad, I panicked every time a wasp flew in.
"MOM! There's a WASP in the tent and it won't go AWAY!!!"
Great thining, yelling will make it go away...

You see, campground conversation isn't exactly exciting. I tried to fight it every day of my four weeks in Germany and France. I failed. Nothing can save you from the dullness of campground conversation. It feels good to be back home, where I can spend my time talking about useful things, like peeling potatoes, Ant-Man and the big "does he like me or not" discussion.

Stay Awesome!

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2 Fellow Ramblers

  1. Wait, no campfires? But... why? Risk of forest fires?
    Haha, small talk pains me to no end, too. I've actually never been camping - we've gone trekking and hiking in school, but we'd always stay at resorts or hotels during the night - so I can't say much about my experiences.
    Ooh, Ant-Man was good, wasn't it? Paul Rudd just gets better and better with every role he takes on.

    Geekie Chic

    1. I have no idea why the campfires are prohibited, cause most campgrounds barely have anything on them that can catch fire...
      Ant-Man was amazing :D


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