Lately I find it difficult to open Blogger and write a good blog post. I don't want to write life updates or silly tags - those days are far behind me. I want to show off my skills, make people laugh, brighten their day or make them think. But lately I feel like I'm doing none of those things with my posts. It got me thinking.

The past few months have been one big chaos with an internship that almost killed me, a very unwelcome crush like the ones I used to have when I was in middle school and an allround awesome trip to Vienna. I've met a lot of new people, made new friends and started seeing the world from a new perspective. All those experiences caused me to panic: I know what I want out of life, I just don't know how to get it. I want to be a successful writer or blogger. I want to travel to world and meet my blog buddies. I want to make a living out of being creative. I want to experience life, not just live and see where sitting around will get me.
Does that sound familiar? It does sound familiar to me. You know why? I bet you know why: almost every blogger has the same dream. Almost everyone wants to be a big YouTube celebrity, a DeviantArt artist or Blogger phenomenon. Half of my classmates want to travel the world. At least half of my friends want to be an artist. That's freaking amazing: it shows that we're all dreaming of bigger and better things. We challenge ourselves to get the most out of lives and ourselves. But... isn't that what all those other aspiring authors and artists do to?

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Let's face it: there are over seven billion people in this world. Millions and millions of people are chasing the same dreams I'm chasing. So what makes me so special? Why would I achieve greatness when people who are far more talented than me don't even come close to it?
I like to think that I'm completely unique. That I can do things that no one else can do. But take a short look around the blogosphere. You'll find tons of bloggers who are better writers than me. I'm not as good at drawing as most others and my photography skills are non-existent...
Every skill that makes me stand out has already been practiced to perfection by someone else. That scares me. I lay awake at night, wondering if I'll ever be good enough to become a published author. There are so many others out there with the same skills as me. So I keep asking myself: what makes me so special, what makes me stand out?

I have the same dreams as lots of other people. My talents aren't unique. I'm not some prodigy who'll take the world by storm. Sometimes that makes me sad. Sometimes I almost give up on my dreams.
A few days ago I came close to giving up on blogging when I saw my best friend's boyfriend: he got a job offer at Google as a graphic designer, which is cool, but he's never done anything to deserve it. That made my blood boil. And when my blood starts to boil, I get motivated. I looked back on my posts from the past couple of months and went looking for what makes me unique. And I think I've found it: I am Envy; I have a weird sense of humor: I was continuously giggling while writing about going to a college party. I am good at writing about douche bag vampires: A Vampire's Mistake is one of my most read posts ever and the story will be continued this summer. I rant and write and fangirl my way into adulthood. And most important: I might come close to giving up, but I never ever ever do give up on my dreams!

I'm one person out of the more than seven billion people running around on this little blue ball in the middle of space. I'm unique, like all of them, and my dreams are far from unique, but why should that hold me back? I don't want to be one of those people who want to be a writer. I am the girl who works hard to make her dreams come true. No matter how awesome or skilled those other aspiring authors are, I'm not giving up until I'm at the top.

Stay Awesome!