How to Party: Envy-Style

by - 4:47 PM

The reason why you should go, at least once, and pretend your
not antisocial :P
When I was in high school, I never got invited to the 'cool' parties. I was known as the shy nerdy girl who didn't like drinking until she puked, so I wasn't fun to have at the average high school party.
Things changed when I started college. Not a lot, I still prefer to stay at home with a good book and have a chat with my blog buddies, but suddenly I got invited to parties. While most other people have had their experiences with parties that only include drinking and dancing, I was still a newbie. You can probably imagine the state of panic I entered when I was invited to a party that was thrown for... well, no reason at all. All of a sudden I was supposed to hang out with a bucnh of people, half of which I didn't know, and pretend to have a lot of fun while drinking stuff I didn't like.
Okay, I admit it, it wasn't that bad. It was actually pretty awesome. If an antisocial nerd like me can survive a college party, then so can you! Not sure how to do that? You'll get there with these seven easy steps, that even allow you to go home with your dignity almost fully intact!

Step 1: Accept the invitation
Before you decide to freak out about the invitation and try to hide in a corner with a book, you need to take a deep breath and tell yourself: I'm gonna go and have fun!
Okay, so at first you won't believe yourself. And when you're on your way to the party you still won't believe yourself. And when you arrive you will probably want to turn around and run all the way back home, built a fort out of pillows, blankets and books and read Harry Potter all night, but you've got to be strong! Be outgoing for one night, you've got the rest of your life to hide in awesome forts with the best books in the world. Accept the invitation, walk through that door and be part of the party!

Step 2: Stay close to someone you know
There's an enormous chance that there are going to be people at the party that you don't know. If you're anything like me, that idea will scare the living daylight out of you. So this is what you're going to do: grab your friend/classmate/arch enemy (seriously, at this moment, anyone who knows your name will do) and don't let go of them until everyone at the party is so drunk that they won't notice your an awkward blogger who'd rather be joining a blog party than an actual party.

Step 3: Watch everyone get drunk
Step 3 is crucial for the entire night. You see, when people get drunk and start dancing, your dancing will look less idiotic. When people get drunk they act like weirdos and won't notice your weird habits. Without beer (or any other type of liquor) this party will be the most awkward thing ever. If there is beer, jsut sit back, relax and watch all the others make fools out of themselves.
One last tip: don't get drunk yourself, that'll only make matters worse.
It doesn't look like fun
but it actually is

Step 4: Humor the drunk people
Everyone's behaving like a total idiot? And you're still sober/soberish/not totally wasted? Great, now it's your time to get a little more involved in the action. There's no need to feel awkward anymore: everyone will have forgotten everything by the next morning. Thank god for alcohol!
So once you've reached this point, you can do whatever you want. That includes clumsy flirting, showing off your awful dance moves and even walking around with bunny ears on your head. You're here anyway, you might as well make the drunk people laugh by being a little silly too.
Warning: they might want to take a picture of you and forward it to your entire class. It's more or less worth it though.

Step 5: Tell your life story to a total stranger
We all need to catch a break from the craziness every now and then. When you feel like you've walked around with bunny ears on your head for long enough, give them to someone else and claim the couch as your kingdom. Sure, others are allowed to sit on it to, but watch out: if one of them is sitting right next to you when your only male blog buddy tweets you, you might end up being forced to tell everything about him and your blogging life. Not a big deal though, everyone's drunk, no one will remember this anyway!
One tip: as soon as they start making a list of pros and cons of moving to India, get the hell out of there. Those people might be drunk and forget about it, but you're not and you're going to feel very awkward for the rest of the night if you continue a conversation like this.

Step 6: Think 'screw this!' and be part of the fun
You fled the couch because drunk people you didn't even know until two hours ago are jumping to weird conclusions? Good choice, you're getting the hang of this party thing!
The most important thing now is to pretend you totally know what you're doing (otherwise the guys on the couch will notice that you've fled because of them). You might want to try dancing. Yes, I know, you feel like a moron when you dance, but remember: drunk people forget lots of stuff! Think of it as repeating step 4 but with more fun! Dance with your friends, wear a butterfly tiara and get involved in crazy group pictures!

Step 7: Fall asleep on the couch, wake up after 10 minutes and realize it's time to go home
After some time you'll get tired. Even more tired than that time you just had to finish your book and stayed up until the next morning. Good news: there's still a couch around somewhere and there probably aren't much guys around who want to ask you awkward questions about your blog buddies, so go ahead and take a nap!
Now wake up. I'm serious, you don't want to be the person who fell asleep at a party without even touching a drink. Take a moment to look back on the party and give yourself a pat on the back: you were there, you didn't make a fool out of yourself and you probably had a lot of fun (even though you might not want to admit that to your nerd friends). You've done great, my friend, but now it's time to go home. There are some great books and blogs there, waiting for you to read them!

Stay Awesome!

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6 Fellow Ramblers

  1. I've never seen a drunk person in my life.
    You must take me to this party when I come to your place some time in the near distant future :D
    (although I'd probably scare the whole party away by accident .__.)

    1. Really? Not even on the streets?
      My classmates are hilarious when they're drunk (though one gets aggressive and that's not cool) and I, well, I get giggly and talk loud :P
      I'll make sure that there's a party for us to go to when you come to visitme! Believe me, if I don't scare everyone away, neither will you ;)

  2. This was hilarious! I now know how to conduct myself at a college party- thanks for that.

    1. Thank you and you're welcome! College parties are fun - once you know how to handle them :P

  3. I've been to two parties in college. I hated both. I don't know why, but they always dim the lights. Why can't the lights be on? And the music is so loud, it gives me a headache. And it isn't even good music. It's always EDM. Psssh.
    I'll prefer an intimate dinner party with a friend or a Harry Potter re-readathon, thanks. XD

    Geekie Chic

    1. I prefer dinner parties and anything involving HP too. I want to talk to people, not scream over loud music without getting an answer.
      The lights were actually on at this party, the only reason why they were dimmed was because there were clothes thrown over the lamp, which was apparently a normal thing in that appartment :P


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