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Lost in Translation


I noticed something strange on the internet in the last months of 2018: People in comment sections asking for someone to save the world. For someone to solve all the world's problems. And while I understand the sentiment, it also worries me. If we're all going to cry for help, nothing is going to happen except a whole lot of crying for help. We need to take action, which honestly isn't as difficult as it often sounds. In fact, I think it takes just four easy steps to change the world for the better.

Step 1: Identify the problem
I know, I know. There are so many problems. The world is a shit show right now and we can't blame it all on Trump, Brexit or megacorporations. Besides, those are symptoms rather than causes. The real causes of why we're living in such a mess are too many to list, and that's what makes this first step so tricky: Before you know it, you're in over your head and can't see the light anymore. So choose one problem that's close to your heart. One problem, whether that's women's rights, environmental protection, getting people to vote, you name it. For me, that problem is plastic pollution and environmental protection (hence the pictures of nature, because some people don't seem to realize how beautiful nature is). Choose your one problem and tackle it with all you've got.



Step 2: Educate yourself
Now that you've identified the problem, it's time to read up on it. Of course you already know the basics, otherwise you wouldn't be doing something about this particular problem, but there's so much more information out there that will help you save the world! When I first got involved in the whole hating on single-use plastics thing, I knew the situation was bad. I just had no idea exactly how bad it was though. I also had no idea what I could do to change the situation or which charities to follow and support. At the time, I was still working an office job, so I always had a tab open in the background with a Google search for plastic pollution. Whenever work was slow (which was almost all the time), I'd read a new article or website. Within no time, I knew almost all there was to know and had a list of helpful resources and great charities.


Step 3: Take action
Knowledge is power, but power is useless if you don't do anything with it. So get off that couch and start changing the world for real! And no, I'm not talking about sending a tweet or two. Raising awareness is a good thing, but not if it's the only thing you do. You've got to put your money where your mouth is. If you did well in step 2, you'll know exactly what you need to do.
In my case, this step meant cutting out as much single-use plastic as I could. I switched from slimy shower gel to old fashioned soap from Lush. I choose plastic-free alternatives whenever I can. And because I felt that that wasn't enough, I started raising money to donate to charity. My mom helped me out with this. In the Netherlands country we have a bottle deposit scheme: you pay €0,25 on top of the product price for every big plastic bottle you buy and get that money back when you return the empty bottle to the supermarket, so it can be recycled. These bottles often get dumped in parks or around supermarkets. In those cases, my mom and I pick them up and bring them to the supermarket. That way we raised over €150,- in 2018, which we split between 4Ocean, the WWF and the Ocean Cleanup among others. Donating the money was very rewarding, but what made it even better was imagining the sheer amount of plastic we recycled: A mountain of about 600 plastic bottles that would have ended up in nature, landfills or incinerators otherwise.

Even though I'm proud of my family's accomplishments, I'll also be the first to admit that step 3 was the hardest one. It's the most rewarding one too, not just when you're working on it yourself, but also when you see your friends do their thing. Take Nabila from Hot Town Cool Girl for example, who campaigned like crazy for the midterm elections in the US, even though she's too young to vote. Or Kanra from The Lunar Descent, who organized a tree plantation drive in med school; they ended up planting tons of trees! Charlene is doing whatever she can for animals by raising money for several animal charities all year. And while all these things might seem small, all small efforts put together will make a huge difference in the end.



Step 4: Get others to join you in your efforts
Want to maximize your impact? Spread the word and convince others to join the cause (and yes, this is definitely the perfect moment to send those tweets!). I'm lucky enough to have parents who immediately joined me in raising money and looking for plastic-free alternatives. We might only be three people, but that's still more than one.

Still feeling a little discouraged? I totally get it. It's a big scary world out there and it's difficult to make a change. Sometimes I feel like I should give up, that all my efforts are for nothing, that I'm not changing the world one bit. Whenever I feel that way, I remind myself of a passage from Jonathan Safran Foer's Everything is Illumiated, in which a kid goes through an existential crisis. His dad asks him the question: "If you picked up one grain of sand in the desert and put it down somewhere else, would that desert still be exactly the same as before?" The answer is no, of course. Every change, no matter how small, is a change and can lead to an awesome chain reaction. If I pick up my grain of sand, the desert won't be the same anymore. If all my friends pick theirs up, a sand dune could collapse. If we all do it, we can move the freaking desert. So tackle a problem. Stand up for what you believe in, for what you think is right. Come on guys, we've got a desert to move. We've got a world to change. We've got a planet to save. Let's do this.

x Envy
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13 Fellow Ramblers

I've been a blogger for a long time. I started my first blog in the summer of 2012. It was a short-lived book blog that sucked all my joy out of reading. A few months later, I started publishing my online journal under the name Picking up the Pieces, which was replaced by the prototype of Lost in Translation in late 2015. My blog as you know it has been around since February 2017. Coincidentally, I lost my motivation to blog around the time of this blog's launch. I had other things on my mind: I dropped out of college, went to Southeast Asia, started a job, went to university... Blogging was definitely on the backburner, even though I still published a lot of posts during my gap year. I went on long, unannounced breaks, got frustrated with all things Internet.
Then 2019 started, and things changed. That little spark of motivation was back. I wanted to blog. Not just that, I wanted to be active in the blogging community as well. So I gave the whole thing another try, only to find myself lost in the big scary blogosphere.

One of the things that used to make me feel at home in the blogging community seems to be on the verge of extinction now: the Twitter chat. There used to be at least two a day in 2017, but times have changed and I'm having trouble adapting. Last year the chat was more or less replaced by the 'follow train'. Someone would start the train by tweeting their followers to retweet and follow everyone who does the same. This does not work for me at all. I hate it when my feeds feel cluttered with tweets I'm not interested in, so I always take some time to consider following someone. If I've never talked to you, know nothing about you and am not interested in you, I'm not going to follow you. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but be honest: if you're a total homebody, would you like to hear me talk about the wonderful things about traveling the world all day long? Probably not, but that's the situation you'll find yourself in after doing lots of follow trains.
Although follow trains aren't as popular anymore, returning to Twitter for blogging purposes has been weird for me. My mind still does chats from my small account, but the platform changed a lot during the follow train period. And to be honest, I am not quite sure how to be myself again in this changed blogging world.

Twitter wasn't the only thing that changed while I didn't have my head in the game though. My content, inconsistent as it was, and my attitude towards it changed too. From early 2017 onwards, I always felt like my blog wasn't good enough. I saw my posts as stories that I wanted to tell, whereas travel posts by other bloggers read more like reviews and advice. I often tried to emulate that or combine those two writing styles, but I always ended up hating whatever I'd written. Giving advice or writing a review on the places I'd stayed at just isn't me, and I've accepted that. I'm a storyteller and that's cool too. Whenever I post now, I hit that publish button because I want to share a story with the world. It feels much better that way. I started out doing this on Instagram in late 2018, which actually led to something I'd never experienced before: becoming a brand ambassador.

Apparently following my heart in terms of content creation led to something I'd always known was a possibility: brand deals and ambassadorships. To be honest, I thought that just wouldn't be for me, as my blog never fit in. So right when I'd accepted my blog and aim for it, a brand ambassadorship hit me like a sudden dizzy spell and I was confused about the whole blogging thing once again. Was I even ready for that? I was afraid I'd look like I was selling my soul. I'd seen plenty of bloggers jump on opportunities that didn't fit their brand or personality and I didn't want to make that mistake. For hours, I researched the brand and discussed with friends and families if it'd be a good fit for my blog and Instagram. Although the product did fit my "brand", I still had some moral and ethical demands. Since I didn't think this deal would work out at the time, I saw it as a learning experience and used the opportunity to jot down what I'm looking for in a brand before I partner up with them. Of course their product has to be of great quality, but I'd also like to see that they donate to charity (preferably something in the field of environmental protection). I researched some more. Checked some things. And somehow became a brand ambassador despite still being completely lost in the world of blogging!

In December I sealed the deal and became a brand ambassador for Capitola Watches. You see, back when I was still a teacher, I realized I needed a watch because the clock in my classroom never worked. This was in late 2016. I never got around to buying a watch. Talk about procrastinating. Then I got a message from Capitola and saw exactly the kind of watch I was looking for, of which a percentage of the price would be donated to the WWF. So I got on board and became so overwhelmed that I made a mistake with the promo code. You can use the code ENVY10 for a discount of 15% on your purchase (the logic is very Envy-worthy here).


Of course I'm still a bit nervous about presenting myself as an ambassador. Not everyone with an internet connection is in favor of people like me teaming up with brands. It's another thing that I have to figure out this year, just like the Twitter thing, just like my own attitude towards the things I write. But I think I will be fine. I've taken it step by step up until this point and think it's worked out okay. I'll worry about the next blogging challenge when I'm faced with it.

I think blogging has never been truly easy. It wasn't easy in 2012 and it isn't easy now. But at least I now know what I stand for and how I want my blog to be run. Holding on to my old social media tactics might not get me far, sticking to storytelling might not make me popular, but it makes me happy. If the time comes for a brand deal or something like it, I know when to say 'no thanks'. I've been doing everything with only half of my heart for a long time, but not anymore. I've figured the basics out. Now I'm ready for more.

x Envy
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17 Fellow Ramblers

Have you ever been so obsessed with something that even your best efforts to explain why it's so great end with "It's just so good okay!"?
I have. Plenty of times. Last time I went through such a phase was when The Hunger Games movies were in theatres. I thought I'd grown out of my obsessive personality. Until I came across Endzeit, by Olivia Vieweg. Now I'm back to that fangirling, rambling, nonsensical state of mind, ready to tell you all about my latest obsession. Because Endzeit is just that good okay!

I first came across Endzeit on my 22nd birthday, in a bookstore in Düsseldorf. The vivid colors on the cover of this graphic novel immediately caught my eye and I was sold the second I read the blurb. Endzeit is a zombie apocalypse story set in my own dear old Europe, in Germany to be exact. Thuringia, to be even more exact. Just that small fact got me all intrigued and excited. Almost all zombie content I've come across in my life was set in the US, which means that every character has at least one gun and bullets fly continuously through the air, along with zombie body parts. Not exactly relatable to a European audience. And let's be honest: a zombie apocalypse story is so much more interesting when the easy solution of a bullet through the head isn't readily available. Do you see the potential that a European setting adds to zombie stories? I just had to see it for myself. Just a few minutes after I'd first laid eyes on it, Endzeit was mine.


That night I started reading as soon as I was back at the hotel. The plot seemed basic, but swept me off my feet immediately. Like in most zombie apocalypse stories, a small group of people is still out there, trying to survive in a world full of zombies. In this case, the cities of Weimar and Jena managed to put up fences to keep the zombies out. The cities are connected by an automatic train. Riding the train is strictly forbidden. However, our protagonists Eva and Vivi do ride the train to Jena, both for their own reasons (which I won't spoil, don't worry). The train never makes it. It breaks down and Eva and Vivi decide to continue their way to Jena by foot. Simple plot, right? Don't be fooled though, because there's so much more to this story than meets the eye.

Long before Eva and Vivi start walking through zombie-infested Thuringia, we're confronted with much darker themes such as suicide and serious mental illnesses. Vivi actually starts the story locked away in a mental facility. I love how the story doesn't shy away from serious topics like these. They're definitely handled in a realistic and respectful manner. One small theme stood out to me especially, probably because it was just briefly mentioned once, in a very German way: even Germany's nazi-past is acknowledged in Endzeit when Eva mentions how lucky they are that the dead bodies buried around death camp Buchenwald didn't return as zombies. No American author would ever own up to such a dark part of the past in such a bad-ass way. In fact, I think Endzeit does a lot of things better than the average American zombie story. My problem with most of those it that they're so busy staging confrontations between zombies and humans that there's no time to show what an apocalypse would do to the human mind. We do get a sense of that in Endzeit, as we learn that Vivi's issues stem from traumatic experiences she went through when the apocalypse started (again, I'm not spoiling anything). She and Eva discuss what happened to them in those first days and it makes you question what you would have done in their place. Would you've saved yourself? Would you have sacrificed yourself to save others? What's right and wrong under such extreme circumstances as a zombie apocalypse anyway?


The beautiful thing about the psychological damage in Endzeit is that it even affects the two-dimensional characters. Some barely speak, but still show how the apocalypse affected them. It's awesome to see flat characters that somehow still have a lot of dept, but Eva and Vivi are the ones who steal the show in every possible way. That's not just because they're the protagonists (which is an obvious reason if I ever saw any), but mostly because of the way they are portrayed. Between the two of them, just about every characteristic I like to see in a female lead is represented. Especially Eva is a strong person, quick to do whatever's necessary to survive or save a real friend (yes, this saving business totally include battling zombies without batting an eye). Back in Weimar, she had a huge responsibility as leader of a team the repaired the fence around the city. Stranded between the two cities, she's the one who takes the lead.
Vivi, on the other hand, is more childlike, one of the sweetest characters I've come across in a long time. She's strong in her own way, incredibly brave for continuously fighting the demons in her own mind. She does whatever she can to adjust to the harsh circumstances outside the fence and I admire Vivi so much for that. But my favorite thing about her is her caring nature. She can be seen swapping food even though that means her meal will be less tasty, or watering plants with so much love that you want to go off and hug a plant yourself.


Eva and Vivi aren't flawless though, which is exactly what makes them such memorable characters. Vivi is riddled with guilt and frequently loses touch with reality. Her judgment is clouded by hallucinations and being too nice is a huge problem when zombies have taken over the world. Eva compensates Vivi's endless kindness by being harsh. She doesn't seem to care about much and it takes a while for her to reveal her softer side. Eva's guard is way up, which makes her intimidating at first. So both she and Vivi are far from perfect. Just like everyone out here in the real world. It makes them perfect protagonists.

Of course I wouldn't be gushing as much about Endzeit as I am now if the art weren't awesome too. It looks slightly different from the comics and manga I usually read: it's much cuter. Especially Vivi looks very huggable. But what truly sets the art apart from that on other graphic novels is how expressionist it looks. You can see expressionist touch in most of the backgrounds. The vivid colors and how all the shapes look almost fluent on the page reminds me of The Scream (so yes, I added that little screaming guy to a few pages when I was bored one day).


Sometimes I find myself randomly flicking through the pages to look at some of the most colorful pages. The way the colors and shapes work together helps the story so much: you can almost feel the summer heat come of the page, you can almost see the sun sink behind the horizon. You become so emerged in the story that it's a shock to return to reality once it's over.

The full art pages make the reading experience even better. Of course they're beautiful, but they're also expertly used to create suspense and change the pace of the story. Art and storytelling came together so perfectly in Endzeit that it blew my mind.


I honestly can't get enough of this book. It's got everything I love: A great story, realistic characters, stunning art, and a post-apocalyptic society. I'd recommend this book to anyone, especially if you've just started to learn German. The language used in Endzeit is fairly easy, and you always have the images to makes more sense of what you're reading. Seriously, I'd let my students read this if I were still teaching German. But if you don't speak German at all, there's an English translation available online. So what are you waiting for? Go read my favorite graphic novel of all times! I need more people with whom I can fangirl about Endzeit. Because it's just that good okay!

x Envy
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6 Fellow Ramblers

This year I woke up on New Year's Day to the realization that I hadn't set any goals, nor made any resolutions for 2019. Just like the year before. And the year before that one... And the year before that one... I wanted this year to be different though, so I tweeted a call for help to some of my blog buddies. Within no time, Ella from Ella Was Here came to the rescue: "Maybe something fun like visiting a new city every month?" she tweeted. And that's how the Twelve Cities Challenge was born.

The concept is simple: you visit one new city a month. No compensating: going to two new cities in January so you don't have to go anywhere in February takes all the fun out of the challenge. Apart from this one main rule, you're free to do this challenge whichever way you want. Personally, I felt that I needed some more rules. There's this huge grey area on my list of visited cities, which is full of cities I've technically visited, but those visits left me with zero memories. That's why my complete set of rules for this challenge look like this:
          1. Visit one new city each month
          2. A visit must last at least six hours
          3. Going somewhere for a race does not count as a visit
          4. A city is new if A) I haven't visited it before
                                        B) the previous visit was five or more years ago
                                        C) the previous visit was shorter than six hours

The third rule might seem random, especially if you don't know me that well, but I really need it to complete the challenge. Without it, cities like Dordrecht and Gouda in the Netherlands would be useless even though I've only spent time on the track of an athletics club. The fourth rule might seem unnecessary, but let's be honest: How often did you go on a field trip in high school and saw nothing more than one boring museum and the local McDonald's? You technically visited that city. You see, some extra rules were necessary.

With my rules firmly in place, visits to the Dutch cities Rotterdam, Amsterdam, Utrecht, Arnhem, Eindhoven, Maastricht and Venlo are out of the question. Of course I can visit these places, but they won't count towards this challenge. In Europe, the same goes for, deep breath, Berlin, Aachen, Düsseldorf, Münster, Ljubljana, London, Edinburgh, Vienna, Brussels, Antwerp, Leuven, Liège, Helsinki, Moscow, Tallinn, Riga and Vilnius. Looks like Europe won't have many of its cities featuring in the Twelve Cities Challenge... On a worldwide level, I have some no-go zones as well: Lima, Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Luang Prabang, Vientiane, Phnom Penh, Havana, Jerusalem and Amman. But to be honest, those places are so far away that there's zero chance of me visiting again in 2019 anyway.

To be completely honest, I'm a bit nervous to actually start this Twelve Cities Challenge now. It's an easy challenge on paper. But we all know that life sometimes happens and before you know it, you've forgotten about a challenge. Anyway, I'll worry about that later. Probably in February, because January's trip has already been planned. After this month, I'm going to give it my all and see where I'll end up (quite literally). If you wanna get frequent updates, you can keep an eye on my Instagram page. This challenge will definitely be all over my stories there. Wish me luck guys! The Twelve Cities Challenge starts now!

x Envy
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13 Fellow Ramblers

Dear 2018,
I'm going to be honest: I never planned on writing this letter to you. I felt like there'd be nothing to say when you were over. You never screwed me over like 2017 did, so there was no reason to send you a Howler like I sent 2017 a year ago. Then I realized I should acknowledge the good things in life more often. There were plenty of those in the 12 months we spent together, so here I am today, writing you a letter to say thank you.

Thank you for letting me catch my breath. In a way, you were uneventful. Exactly what I needed after the rollercoaster of 2017. I needed some time to reorganize my life, my thoughts, everything. I'll admit that I still have no idea what I want to do with my life, but at least I'm not down in the dumps anymore. All because you didn't throw one life-changing event after the other at me. At some point, you started to drag a bit, but looking back on it all, everything worked out exactly the way I wanted and needed it to work out.

Thank you for second chances. Although I know that going back to university was completely up to me, I feel like you made it easier on me. Once my job as a translator became boring (yay for computers taking over my work!), it was so much easier to return to education and it made me so much more determined to get a degree and make something out of myself. Utrecht University is a great place and I felt right at home from the start. There are so many interesting courses to take and I'm glad you allowed me to follow this path, 2018!

Thank you for all the adventures. I may have called you uneventful, but at times, we did go on great adventures together. Not all of them were huge adventures abroad: Going to a football match with my friend Stefanie was an adventure too! I explored Düsseldorf and the touristy part of Amsterdam with my boyfriend. And of course, I have to mention my trip to Cuba, the Palestinian Territories, Israel and Jordan. I saw so many amazing places that I've been dying to visit... It's almost unbelievable.

Thank you for the adrenaline rushes. I can still feel my heart beating against my ribs from the time I climbed to an illegal viewpoint in Jordan. Or that time when I decided to take my longboard down one of the very few hills in my country even though I'd only been practicing going in a straight line for a week. Adrenaline rushes were rare during your 365 days, 2018, but when they came, they were just too good.

Thank you for all the new experiences. I got to meet so many bloggers or met up with others for the second time. I did my first ever sponsored post in Amsterdam. I saw Banksy's work on the West Bank Barrier, where I learned so much about the situation in the Palestinian Territories by talking to locals. I lived alone for a month. I actually managed to keep a houseplant alive for more than two months! 2018, you taught me so many good things.

There's only one thing I won't thank you for: The wisdom teeth situation. 2018, you were definitely the Year of the Wisdom Teeth. My dentist noticed the problem in April, the first operation took place in July, that wound got infected in August and the antibiotics they gave me to fight the infection caused a chemical imbalance better known as clinical depression. I'm eternally grateful that my depressed episode lasted no longer than two months, but I know things could have been much worse. The second operation took place in November. Again, I faced complications because the roots were too close to nerve endings. This time everything went right. Still, I won't thank you for that, 2018!

But seriously, thank you for everything else. You won't go down in my personal history as the most exciting year ever, but you were just what I needed. You were good to me. I wonder if 2019 will follow your example, but I'm not going to worry about it. We'll see what happens. I'm sure it's going to be a good one, especially after you helped me get back on my feet!

x Envy
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14 Fellow Ramblers
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About me


Envy. Dutch blogger. Est. 1996. No relation to the famous biblical sin. Worst bio writer on this side of the blogospere. Lives on cookies, apple juice and art. Friendly unless confronted with pineapple on pizza. Writes new nonsense every Thursday.

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