Dear 2017 - An Open Letter to the Hardest Year of my Life

by - 3:00 PM


Dear 2017,
God, it feels good to see you disappear in the rear view mirror. I didn't dare say or write any of these things in your final days, in case you'd come back to bite me in the ass one last time. Actually, you did that anyway by having me run my last race of the year in a storm that almost blew me into a pond. Thanks mate.
I guess you understand why I didn't trust you anymore. Not just because of yesterday's storm, but because of everything you put me through. We had a horrible start together. I spent your first two months crying over an ex-boyfriend. Then, when I finally felt better in April, the whole drama with college started. An internship that ended in disaster, teachers who refused to give me feedback and finally dropping out when I realized how college made me feel miserable every single day.
2017, you were a mess. Family issues, health issues, a broken heart, I went through it all. And on top of all that, you put me through therapy for an inferiority complex. Was there ever a moment when you cut me some slack? If you did, it sure didn't feel that way. I mean, I even lost a job this summer before my first day had even started!
I spent so much time crying and feeling lost that I barely had any time for the goals I had set for your 365 days. I didn't even look at my Make it Happen List. I'm more lost than ever when it comes to my future career. And remember when I said I wanted 180 college credits to my name by the time you'd end? Please don't make me laugh, we all know how that ended.
I lost everything to you. You were a complete asshole. I hated you with a passion. You were by far the worst year of my life and...


Dear 2017,
I'm sorry for saying all those horrible things about you. I let my emotions get the better of me, though you have to admit that you were never easy on me. You forced me to take a long hard look at my life and make some changes. Because of you I learned to accept and cope with my giftedness. I realized I'd never be happy if I'd stayed in that awful college.
Of course I hoped to go to university right after the summer, which you didn't allow, but at least I landed a good job so I can save up for tuition. I consider myself lucky that I managed to get that job. So I guess you weren't 100% evil, 2017. It all hurt like hell, but some of the things you put me through were needed. You taught me so many lessons and put me down a path I never would have taken on my own. It was a difficult path, but at least I made it. In fact, when I think about the places I visited and the people I met along the way, I guess you could say it was worth it.
My trip to Antwerp in February was amazing. I fell in love with Edinburgh in March, where I met Zach. The summer days in Southeast Asia made me feel much better about my life and I'd never be where I am today without Julie, whom I met in the Thai jungle. December was almost over when I went to Belgium again. I met Annelou, who shares my passion for street art, Ella from Ella Was Here, who helped me accept my giftedness, and Serkan, who showed me that not all guys are liars when they say they care about you.


Dear 2017,
I'll always remember you as a hard and seemingly endless year. You were harsh and at times even cruel, but taught me some valuable lessons. The important thing to remember is that I hit rock bottom while you were around. From here on out, things can only get better, and to be honest, they already did get a little better after June. December even came close to being awesome. I guess you weren't so horrible after all. Just make sure your younger sibling 2018 is a little kinder to me.

x Envy

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8 Fellow Ramblers

  1. Envy, this is such a great post. I wish you nothing but the best for a happy and healthy new year!! Looking forward to where life takes you this year. xo
    peridotcove.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you Sanjana! I hope life will take me to university, hahaha. I'm optimistic now, it can never be as bad as 2017 was.

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  2. Aw, I hope 2018 is really kind to you! Goal lists are not the most important thing, you got through it all and things are looking up now, so you'll have as good a start for the new year as you can get.
    And it's cool to see that you still had some nice things! Remember those, and be proud you can leave the rest behind you!

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    1. Thank you. I did have a great start this year. I set myself a few smaller goals the other day just so I have a little something to hold on to, but they're not the main focus of my life now. Feels surprisingly good.
      Now that it's 2018 it's easier to look back on the good things. There were some and looking back on them they were actually nothing short of amazing.

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  3. OMG I absolutely loved this! It was so brave for you to open up like that. Everyone goes through struggles, and they're mostly hidden from the outside world. This can be tough when you're a blogger because it can show through in your writing.

    I hope everything's going to work out for you in 2018. Things are going to fit themselves into place. And you don't need goals to be successful xx Nikita

    BLOG//Jasmine Loves

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    1. I am so glad to hear you enjoyed this post! Better to be honest and tell your story than to bottle it up. I hope my situation didn't affect my writing too much in the past year, but I'm glad it's all over now.
      I'm so optimistic about 2018 it's almost scary. It can only get better in my opinion!

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  4. 2017 was truly the ultimate asshole of years.
    But it also wasn't all bad. There were bright spots in the darkness. You actually made it into my "things that brightened 2017" list.
    Thank you x
    Cora | http://www.teapartyprincess.co.uk/

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    1. It really was, but we made it through!
      I am so honored to be on your list. Honestly, when I read your DM on Twitter I teared up. I am so happy that I made a positive impact on someone's life.

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