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Lost in Translation

I live in a country where almost everyone has been to London at least once. Teenage girls say they loooove London, in the same tone of voice they use to talk about their new shoes. London is the place where all the female hipsters and aspiring writers want to live as soon as possible. Some bloggers even claim that their lives aren't complete without their annual trip to the city on the Thames.
Usually I ignore such proclamations. They just make me wonder: all those people who pee their pants when they hear the name London, do they even know what London is really like?

I won't say I'm an expert on London. I'd only been there once, back in 2012 when the city was turned upside down for the Olympics. Not exactly every day London, I guess. And all those stories about shopping adventures or spending all your time in a coffee shop, I don't think that's every day London either. You see, I think every city has a soul, something completely unique. Last week I spent five days in London and I tried to find that soul. Did I succeed? I don't know, but along the way I saw thousands of little things that make this city so special.

Once you stop fangirling over London and open your eyes, you'll see wonderful little things that you otherwise wouldn't notice. Like sumo wrestlers taking over street signs.


London is like a maze. I've never been very good with directions (except in Rome, for some reason I knew exactly where everything was in Rome), but London... I was lost at least twice a day. It's worth it though. London isn't one of those mazes that has a reward at the end, but loads of awards along the way. Like people blowing gigantic bubbles.

London is like fiction come to life. Yes, I'm talking about 221B Baker Street, but also the countless other places that are described in so many of my favorite books. But yes, I went to Baker Street. No, I have absolutely no idea who that lady in the background is, but the one with the awesome Batman sweater is me, of course.


London is a bit like the internet: there's always something exciting going on somewhere. You might not even know it, like I didn't even know that the rugby world cup was taking place a few miles from my hotelroom, or that I was at the cinema where Vin Diesel would appear just a few hours later for a premier. I discovered that latter a day later, when I was reading the paper.

"Oh look, a flaming sword in the exact spot where I was three hours before the picture was taken!"

London is like my high school classmate Jasmin: extremely popular, yet she always had time for everyone and was kind to the unpopular kids. I've heard more people speak obscure Eastern European and Asian languages than English with a British accent. But that's all fine. Everyone is welcome in London. I like to believe that if the world was a high school, San Francisco would be the laid-back kid that's half stoned in the back of the class, Adelaide it's laid-back but not stoned friend and London, that would be the kid that welcomes everyone to its table at lunch. Even the Chinese president, who was welcomed by hundreds of lanterns in Chinatown.


Sure, London isn't all awesomeness. I've seen one if its nasty sides too and will tell about it later. But for now, let me just say that I do understand why so many people love London.

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10 Fellow Ramblers
Life isn't always easy. No matter how often we say that our society has become 'soooo accepting', I'm still faced with prejudices every single day. I'm a girl, so I can't be strong. I'm blond, so I can't be smart. Most ridiculous of all: I'm a virgin, so I can't understand Fifty Shades of Grey. I call shenanigans on all of that. Her Electric Ocean was the blog that inspired me to do this post. Because  every time someone tells me I can't do something, I'll stand up and prove them wrong.

Source
#1: I CAN make a delicious pasta with shrimps, peas and tomatoes
About a year ago I couldn't cook a dish without almost blowing up the kitchen. A friend of mine used to mock my non-existent cooking skills, but here I am today. Nothing can beat my pasta with shrimps, peas and tomatoes.

#2: I CAN ride a unicycle
Didn't see that one coming, did you? It's a fact though. Just riding a bike wasn't enough for me. Every normal Dutch person can ride a bike, and if there's something I don't want to be it's normal or average, so I taught myself how to ride a unicycle.

#3: I CAN tell you all about tectonic plates, earthquakes and volcanoes
For as long as I can remember I've liked geology and volcanoes. I just love it. I was so good at describing the processes that cause earthquakes that I got selected for the national finals of the Geography Olympiad when I was a senior in high school.

#4: I CAN do a killer northern accent
People from the north of the Netherlands have a beautiful accent - one that I can imitate perfectly.

#5: I CAN quote Disney movies in the middle of a serious book report
Yes, I quoted Lilo&Stitch in a book report. It happened a few weeks ago. According to my college's rules it's plagiarism, but I got away with it.

#6: I CAN curse in five languages
I speak English, Dutch, German and Spanish. Apart from that I also know how to swear in Punjabi.

#7: I CAN eat a taco without dropping a single piece of food on my plate
One of my special skills is taco-eating. I almost never drop anything, not even the sauce dares to drip of a taco when I'm eating it. Sometimes people even think I haven't eaten anything at all because my plate is usually completely clean when I'm done eating.

#8: I CAN play with magnets for hours
Older people love to judge me for using my phone a lot, but take it away and I'll happily entertain myself with something simple like a magnet.

#9: I CAN laugh at fart jokes for hours
What, I can't laugh at fart jokes anymore because I'm 19? Just watch me!

#10: I CAN learn the basics of any language in a few weeks
I have loads of useless talents. However, this isn't one of those. This one is actually very useful. I learned basic Mandarin in 16 hours, basic Spanish in 8. I just love learning a new language. When it comes to vocabulary my brain is like a sponge.

#11: I CAN drive a car
Yes, I can. Maybe men like to mock women who can drive, cause "they can never be any good at it", but the people who saw me drive at my driving exam had a good reason to give me my license.

#12: I CAN totally forget where I am when I start daydreaming
I lose myself in daydreams in a regular basis. My eyes don't see anything, my ears don't hear anything, the world around me just doesn't exist for a while. It used to drive my classmates crazy, because I giggle and smile when this happens.

#13: I CAN make new friends whenever I want
Most people who knew me in elementary school said I'd never make any friends. I was too weird, according to both my peers and my teachers. Ten years later I laugh at those people: I have friends all over the world and I'm actually starting to like meeting new people.

#14: I CAN make a stand for myself
Two weeks ago I discovered this about myself: if I have to, I can make a stand for myself. It's not always fun, but when necessary I can do it.

#15: I CAN kick some ass if needed
My dad taught karate in a dojo long before I was born. Over the years he's taught me some moves, mostly defensive ones. By now I've reached the point where he can't 'hit' me anymore when we have a practise fight, my defense has become too strong for him.
I also have a mean kick and if I have to fight for my life I don't refrain from eye-poking and ball-kicking.

Which awesome things can you do? I bet there's more than you think!
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8 Fellow Ramblers
Lost In Translation

It's one of the big facts of life: everything changes. The weather, the people around us, our own interests, everything. Without change, life would be boring. There wouldn't be any more new and exciting discoveries, relationships or opportunities.
Still I used to hate change. After all, you know exactly what you have right now, but you don't know what you'll get when and if change comes.
Change used to scare me. Change used to keep me awake at night. But even that is something that changed over time. When my entire life started changing after I'd graduated high school, I began to see the good things change had to offer: new friends, the chance to learn something new, internships abroad.
Change isn't so bad at all, I decided not too long ago. Unless it's being forced on you - and that's exactly what happened to me.
For almost three years I wrote a little blog with a slightly sad name. That blog is no longer around. The URL changed, the design changed and I even chose a new name, something I promised myself I'd never do. I did it anyway, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.

It was back in 2012 that I started blogging. I had no idea what I was doing, to be honest, so I wrote about whatever came to mind. As I was struggling with friendships, family and high school at the time, these were also the themes I used to write most about. And yes, occassionally I'd mention the crush I had at the time. I still suffer from that one mistake.
The girl who made that mistake is long gone. Since I went to Peru I've grown and found the things in life that make me happy - writing a blog among others. But the guy I used to like is still around, jeopardizing my internship. As a soon-to-be high school teacher I have to be careful with Facebook, Twitter and yes, blogs. I thought I was safe, since Envy Fisher is a pen name. I was wrong.
This not-so-nice guy decided to tell his younger brother (whom I might have to teach German at my internship school) about the badly-written blog posts of my early blogging career. Word spreads quickly at any high school and I couldn't risk anyone finding out. And so the day came that I was forced to change everything.

I'd like to tell you how much fun it was to make all these changes - but it wasn't. It almost fell like being forced to amputate your own arm because your fingers itched. That's how much I loved my first blog. I wasn't ready for a new name: coming up with this one took me a few hours and a big Whatsapp brainstorm session with a friend. When I finally came up with Lost in Translation, there was still the problem of finding a URL. I stuck with the theme of translation and translated my new blog's name to Dutch, my first language, for a completely original URL.
At first I wanted to do the design all by myself, but I got stuck underneath an avalanche of homework. Luckily Hello November Designs was around. A short week after I had to say goodbye to my old blog, the new one is here and ready to be awesome.

I can't help but think of Groot when I type this post. It's like the old blog was Groot as everyone knows him. The knew one is tiny Groot, still awesome, but it'll take time to grow and be as strong and cool as it once was. Hope you'll be around to help me get back to where I was.


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8 Fellow Ramblers
'Calling a street "Ermione" is just asking for nerd trouble.'
'Yes, yes it is.'

From Envy's Make it Happen List
#25: Change the street sign that says 'Ermione' to 'Hermione'
Status: Awesomeness Achieved

It was a cold, windy Friday night in June. I was making a list of summer plans, based on my Make it Happen List. #25 caught my eye. I haven't been very active in any fandom since May 2014, with only two exceptions: Marvel and Harry Potter. Since my dad was reading Harry Potter for the very first time while I was making summer plans, I'd started fangirling again. This time I even had friends in the fandom who didn't mind fangirling with me. I sent one of those friends a message: "You up for some constructive vandalism?"
A few minutes later it was settled and soon we were making plans to make our hometown a little more awesome.

There were quite a few obstacles to overcome. First of all the street sign was high up on a lamp post. We're both small, so neither of us would be able to reach it. After a short brain storm session, we came up with three options:
1) Climb the lamp post
2) Climb on top of a bike
3) Ask a taller person to do it for us
Option three was voted down immediately, since the only taller person that we could think of had treated me like crap for the past couple of years. Besides, he's only a few inches taller than me and wouldn't have been able to reach the sign either. The only other person we could think of lived far away, so we'd have to do it ourselves. We just didn't know how.
We put this problem on hold and thought some more about the H we were going to add to the sign. My friend thought we could just write an H on it with a marker, but I disagreed. It had to be perfect, worthy of Hermione's approval (even though I think she wouldn't approve of vandalism, not not even constructive vandalism). My mom, who thought the idea was pretty cool, suggested tape, but that's be gone after the first rain shower that lasted longer than a minute. Sticker paper would have been perfect, but we had no idea where to get that. We did the next best thing: I made an H the exact same size of the letters on the sign and my friend would provide some scotch tape. At the start of July we were ready to go - and didn't even get as far as leaving the house...
A rain storm, bad timing, another rain storm, my birthday, vacation, even more rain storms, then the start of college and a thunder storm kept us from executing our evil master plan...

July had come and gone, August was history and Autumn was rapidly coming closer. Halfway through September I decided it was not or never. I texted my friend, set a date and time and when the big moment finally came... she was still asleep.
So two hours after the big moment was supposed to happen we finally arrived at the lamp post. We put my bike on its stand and looked up at the sign. It was higher up then we'd expected. Apart from that we were facing a problem we couldn't have seen coming in a million years: the people living in the house across the street were celebrating a birthday. The birthday party can't have been much fun: within five minutes an audience of thee grandparents and a toddler were ignoring the party and were staring at my friend and me, waiting for something to happen.
'This isn't going to work with all those people staring at us,' I said.
Extremely safe to climb on, as you can see XD
'Maybe we could vandalize the sign on the other end of the street,' my friend suggested.
'Is there another sign?'
'Probably.'
So with a little help from google Maps we found the other end of the street. There it was: another Ermione sign. No birthday parties on this side, not even windows with a view on the sign, only a mailman who disappeared right after we put my bike against the lamp post.
'How are we going to do this?' I asked. In my mind it had all seemed very easy. In reality, it wasn't.
You can do the climbing, I'll hold the bike. Way to many cobwebs up there. You do it.'
And so I climbed up on to my bike, balanced on one of the pedals, feared for my life, then reached up and saw to my own surprise that I was exactly tall enough to stick the paper H on the sign.
'Hurry, I can't hold this much longer!'
Only one corner of the H was stuck to the sign when my friend called out. She and the bike started to tremble, I started to lose my balance and now I was only halfway...
Quickly I pressed my hand against the sign, so it covered the entire H. One corner came off, but I quickly fixed it, then climbed off my bike in the most unelegant way ever.
My friend and I looked up at the sign that now said Hermione and burst out laughing. 'How geeky can we be?'
Later on, after buying ourselces some ice cream, my friend was looking at her phone when her eyes suddenly widened: 'Envy, did you know that it's Hermione's birthday today?'
'What? You're kidding!'
'It's her birthday! We vandalized the sign on her birthday!'
'That is awesome. So freaking awesome.'
And that's exactly what it was. Three weeks later the H is still up there. We now officially (okay maybe not totally officially) have a Hermione street in our hometown!

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4 Fellow Ramblers
I know a lot of people who think that you aren't a real blogger if you can't make a living of it. Or that you need at least 100 followers to be a blogger. It's one of the biggest pieces of nonsense I've ever encountered in my life - and believe me, I've seen and heard a lot of nonsense in the past 19 years, 2 months and 16 days.
Being a blogger is a feeling that you have. That little rush of excitement when you hit 'publish'. It has nothing to do with followers or money. It's more about all the quirky little habits you develop as you blog. At some point we all realize we've become a weirdly awesome blogger. I knew I was a blogger when...

...I started doing a special victory dance every time I gained a follower or passed a milestone
"Dad, I have 85 followers!"

...I started taking pictures of just about anything
"Oh, are you going to post your food on Instagram?"
"No, I'm going to write a post on how I almost blew up the kitchen while trying to prepare this dish."

...my blog buddies became the first people to hear all my news, both good and bad
*enters #spacepoliceradio* "Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuys, I've got news!"
Three hours later: "Maybe I should tell my parents now that I'm going to do an internship on the other side of the world..."

...Blogger was always open on a tab somewhere
"Envy, is your part of the powerpoint presentation done?"
"Envy, have you found any new information?"
"Envy, have you done anything at all today?"
Sorry, what? I promise you I wasn't checking up on stats! *quickly closes Blogger tab* 

...literally everything inspired me to write a post
Ooooh, is that toilet paper with dragons on it? Bananas in Costa Rica taste better than bananas in the Netherlands. Oh, I forgot to water my plant, I should tell the world about this! 
Did that guy on the street seriously slip on a banana peel? This book is boring, but I'm going to finish it so I can rant about it on my blog!

Bloggers come in all shapes and sizes, but we all have a few things in common: we are all awesome and a little crazy in our own amazing way. My craziness usually means a lot of silly dancing and screen-staring.
What little things made you realize you were a blogger?

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10 Fellow Ramblers
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About me


Envy. Dutch blogger. Est. 1996. No relation to the famous biblical sin. Worst bio writer on this side of the blogospere. Lives on cookies, apple juice and art. Friendly unless confronted with pineapple on pizza. Writes new nonsense every Thursday.

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