Daydream Believer

by - 4:49 PM

It was career night at my old high school. I'd made a German flag with paper and had taken all my college textbooks with me. I was ready to tell the next generation all about my college and the education I was getting. My heart was in it for 100%. 
I was looking for more black paper to finish my flag, when my 11th grade German teacher came up to me. I dreaded this moment, because I'd told her at the graduation ceremony in June that I was going to steal her job. She was very nice, however, and after asking how I was doing, she asked me a question I never expected to hear
'So this is the career path you've always dreamt of?'
I laughed. 'No, it's not,' I told her.
She was intrigued, since I was always very motivated to learn German when she taught me.'Then what is you dream job?'
'It's stupid, but... I want to be a writer.' I turned red and felt like a kid who's just told everyone they want to be a mermaid when they grow up.
'Envy, I don't think that's stupid at all, as long as you believe in yourself.'
I thought it over and realized I didn't believe in myself. I believe in my daydream. Even thoug my heart is in my college education for 100%, it's not the only thing it wants. If I'd have to choose between being a good teacher and being a successful author, I'd immediately choose author. No doubt about it.

I never had unrealistic dreams as a kid: when all the girls in my class wanted to become a princess, I wanted to become an author. I never felt the desire to walk some posh career path: when all the girls in my class wanted to become lawyers or entrepeneurs, I wanted to become an author. I never cared about the money: when all the girls in my class wanted to become rich, I wanted to become an author.
I told my parents. They smiled and thought: it'll blow over. It didn't.
I told my teachers. They wanted to talk me out of it. They didn't succeed.
I told my friends. They smiled and thought: keep dreaming. And that's exactly what I did. People have called me stubborn, ignorant, unrealistic. I don't listen to them. I like to call myself a daydream believer.
You can actually buy this thing here
A solid ten years have passed since I wrote my first story. More than eight years have come and gone since I first dreamt of being a published author. In those years I haven't only been stubborn. I have chosen a normal career path after all. Just to be sure I will have an income. But when I get home from my internship on tough days, when I can't see the silver linings anymore, I go back to my daydream. I dream of my name on countless book covers, of fans standing in line to have their books signed. It's what gets me through the low points in life: the hope of things getting better, of living the dream.

"It's not just a daydream
If you decide to make it your life"
                                -She's on Fire, by Train

And then there's also this part of me that has listened a bit too much to Train. Because even though I love college, I don't want to be a teacher all my life. I want to be an author. Right now it's still a daydream, but I'm working hard whenever I can to make it my life. I'm far from reaching my goal, but I'm getting there. Sometimes I come home to see I've gained a new follower. Or I check my Adsense account and see that I've made a few more cents this week than I did last. Baby steps... but if you take enough baby steps, you'll get there anyway.

I'm in college, I'm a grown-up, I'm responsible. I have a bright future as a teacher ahead of me. But most of all I'm a daydream believer, with the potential of awesomeness.

Stay Awesome and never give up on your dreams!

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11 Fellow Ramblers

  1. Who said you can't be both teacher and an author..
    I chose career as an engineer..don't get me wrong I love to code I do..and I am kind of intelligent I don't show or reflect as intelligent though but engineering is just not for me..teachers and parents brainwashed me into choosing this career but I'm not sure this is something I want to do lifelong..
    I wanted to be the person who made cartoons as a child..interesting right? everyone thought the same but as I grew up my career choice became ridiculous and then I took up engineering..
    I've finally re-found what I wanted to do all along something with graphics..as it turns out I can do that as a post graduation course after graduating form B.Tech :D
    I say always follow your dream and I'm sure you'll be recognized someday your day will come :D
    Because you're an amazing writer!
    And if you teach I'm sure those will be some lucky kids to be taught by such a cool teacher :D :P

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    1. No one said I can't be both a teacher and an author, but I'd prefer being a full time author :)
      Isn't it weird how much the people around us influence our career choice? Your story is really relatable. A friend of mine almost went to medical school just because her parents wanted her too.
      I know that feel of not wanting to do the same thing for a lifetime... It's not that I'm not enjoying what I do, but doing it for the next 50 years? No thanks, I like to do more than just one thing with my life.
      So cool you've found a post graduation course! I hope it'll be everything you want it to be!
      Thanks for all the confidence you have in me :) Your support keeps me going :)

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    2. Dude it doesn't matter if I or anyone has confidence in you as long as you have it in yourself.You're wise Envy Fischer you really are
      If Zoella can then so can you and I've seen her blog yours is far much better than hers so much better :D

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    3. Haha, but I don't always have confidence in myself, that's the problem.
      Have you checked out Zoella's blog?! I so did not see that one coming. I don't want to sound arrogant, but I'm really not impressed by her writing. I think there are lots of bloggers on TBC who are way better than her, they just didn't get lucky like her.

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    4. That's what I'm trying to say I'm just not that good with words :P

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  2. It's really admirable how you've stuck to your dream for a very long time, you're really determined and passionate. :) Why is everyone discouraging you, though? How is the literature scene like in the Netherlands? Are they doubtful because of the pay, or is there a relatively good standard of literary arts there, and they fear you might not make the cut? You must know that your stories are wonderful, and you'll definitely be able to make the cut. I'm not sure what it's like there, but if these are some of the reasons, then this might be the same challenges experienced by some youths in Singapore who want to be writers as well. Writing doesn't pay well in expensive Singapore, perhaps because the local market has low demands on local literature. But writing is not all about the money either, and it's a shame most people discourage people to be authors because they believe otherwise. There's always a possibility that you can be a part-time self-published author too, if people around you are still against it. Then you'll still be able to write and follow your passion. :)

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    1. Most people discouraged me because they didn't want to think outside the box. They have this image in mind of people growing up, landing an office job, get married and have kids. Me becoming a writer and/or travelling the world doesn't into that image. There's also the literary scene which is a surprising lot like the one in Singapore. The pay is low, so you have to write tons of books, or two to three bestsellers to be able to make a living. The market isn't that bad, but the publishing houses rather translate something that has already proven to be successful on a worldwide scale, than publish something which hasn't proven its worth yet. Because of this, it's also very difficult to make the cut. Sending a manuscript to a publishing house has about 2% effect, because they don't want to take the risk.
      Right now I'm writing a lot. I hope to have something worthy of publishing by the end of the year. Like you said, I can always become self-published and I'll defenitely won't give up on teaching as long as I'm not making enough money writing to be able to pay rent, buy food etc. I'm really glad there's the possibility of being self-published and there's some hope for young Dutch writers: last year a new publishing house was founded and they only publish work by Dutch and Flemish authors!

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  3. You know, some authors have other jobs too. To be an author you just need to write a story. It may take longer if you've got a job and then come home to write like a hobby, but eventually you'll finish your story and you can go find a publisher. You can become an author like that! Honestly, I love the idea of being an author too. It just seems like an enjoyable thing to do. Not a job. Although, I always have the thought that I might get sick of it, which is how I know it's not a dream of mine. But after reading this post, maybe I could make it a hobby. And I hope you do too, and turn that hobby into a book, and that book will bring screaming fans at book signings. Good luck!!

    -M
    The Life of Little Me

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    1. Thank you for your kind comment :)
      I don't really mind having another job, like you said it'll only take some time away from writing. That's not a bad thing, but I am and always have been so passionate about this that I can't wait for this to happen. I'm so impatient :P
      Writing is a great hobby, don't be afraid to give it a shot ;) It's been a hobby of mine for years and I'll do everything I can to turn it into a book. I dream of book signings, but right now I'm still dreaming of people leaving fangirl comments on the story I'm posting on this blog :P

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  4. I love this post so much!
    I'm going to study journalism and don't get me wrong, I love it, but I don't want to do that my whole life (or at least not ONLY that), my dream has always been doing basically anything in a theatre (directing, acting, music). Anything is possible if you're willing to work for it. :)

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    1. Thank you :)
      I totally understand you! It's cool to be able to do something you love, but doing it for all your life is just a little less awesome if there are so many other awesome things you want to do. I'm sure that if you keep theatre in mind and if I keep writing in mind, we'll be able to do great things one day!

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