A quick look at my Instagram feed could lead people to believe that I spend most of my time traveling. In reality, I'm stuck in university buildings for lectures and seminars five days a week. "Stuck" is a bit of a strong word though. It implies that I'm not enjoying my time as a university student. And if there's one thing I did in the second block of my first year, it was enjoying my classes.

Block 2 started in late October. I took three classes (Literature, Linguistics and German), was completely stressed out about the amount of work I'd have to do (seems to become a tradition at the start of each block) and went on to score some top grades on most assignments (my first score of 100% became a fact in the second week of block 2). To my own surprise, I didn't fall into a state of half-depression when the sun started to set earlier and earlier. Everything was pretty great throughout November and December. Sure, I had a lot of stress on deadline days, but I'm actually at my best when I'm running on stress hormones. Before I knew it, Christmas break started. I'd made a schedule for those two weeks so I'd be able to finish all my essays at least a week before their deadlines, which were all coinciding with final exams.
I stuck to my schedule for three days. Then I spent Christmas with my family, Lydia from Mademoiselle Women came over to Rotterdam, my boyfriend celebrated his birthday, I ran the traditional "Oliebollenloop" on December 31st... All of a sudden it was 2019. I'd finished one essay. On Sunday before university would start again, I set up my workspace to start writing about Doctor Faustus. I sneezed once. Twice. Three, four, five times in one minute. Two hours later, I was sick.

I spent a full week in bed and on the couch. I had the flu, like many others around me. Even though I was feeling awful, I went to university once. I had to give a presentation on the German graphic novel Endzeit, which counted heavily towards my final grade. To this day I don't understand how I managed to score 81%, as I forgot half of my presentation. The two essays I still had to write were thrown together in what felt like a fever dream at the last moment. The entire process was horrible and stressful. By the time I'd more or less recovered from the flu, it was time to hit the books: I had less than a week left to study for my finals.

Looking back on it now, I have no idea how I pulled it off. I winged my German exam, which I passed mostly because I'd taken similar classes in college. I scored 100% on my accent analysis test for Linguistics, the only exam I'd properly studied for. Literature turned into a living hell though. Literature courses are a struggle for me anyway, but it got even worse after missing two seminars. I panicked, blanked, and ended up writing as much as possible even I wasn't sure if the topic I was writing about had anything to do with the correct answer.

It's now been two weeks since that dreadful finals week. I went to Paris to get away from all the stress for a while. Not being able to study and work at full capacity had dealt a huge blow to my self-esteem. I felt like I was constantly behind on schedule, constantly missing out on important information. I hadn't felt so low in two years. A short trip abroad was just what I needed. Receiving e-mails to confirm that I'd passed my German and Linguistics classes made me feel much better when I came back home.

Since then, I've started block 3 of my first year. The second week of that block starts today. Time really does fly. As before, I'm taking my personal holy trinity of classes this block: Literature, Linguistics and German. As before, I'm overwhelmed by the amount of work that lies ahead of me. But I'm sure it'll all turn out fine. It always does. Even the Literature exam I took with the bare minimum of preparation wasn't the disaster I expected it to be: just after I finished writing the draft for this post, I received confirmation that I'd passed with a 71% score. Now I can fully focus on this block's classes. Especially Linguistics is very interesting now, with phonology joining the game. I'm the kind of geek who wants to make recordings of key words so I can measure the frequency of vowels in my speach and turn them into a vowel diagram. It's challenging and totally awesome.

Just a year ago, I doubted if going back to school was the right way to go. Five months ago I doubted if I'd be able to pass any of my classes. Now I know I made the right decision. Linguistics is the love of my life and I'm grateful that I get to study so many other subjects as well. It's cheesy, but it's true: I can't wait to see what this block will bring me.