A Vampire's Mistake: Update

by - 12:00 PM

It all began as a way to mock Twilight: my very own vampire story. I started writing it when I was 15. For years I ignored it. Then I told two of my blog buddies about the story. They said they were interested, that they wanted to read it. I felt flattered and translated the first chapter for them. That chapter was published at the very beginning of this year. A second chapter followed. Then... nothing.

I didn't stop posting on purpose. The third chapter was the biggest mess I'd ever seen. There is a reason why 15 year old girls never make the best seller lists and this chapter was the perfect example of this reason. It needed so much rewriting and revising that I couldn't find time between writing and college to sleep ot eat. I had my priorities straight this spring: I focused on college. But now it's summer and over the past few weeks I have been working on chapter three, even working past that point, I've written some new chapters and soon I'll finally be able to post chapter three.

For those who have been following me since chapter one this is good news (I hope). But I realize I've gained a lot of new followers since then. So to get them up to date, I'll post chapter one and two once more here today! Enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments!

Chapter 1
I was sitting in a tree that night, waiting for a tramp to pass by. If I believed in God, I'd thank him for tramps: no one noticed their disappearance and some of them tasted damn great.
I was playing with my knife, high up in a tree, when I heard hysterical laughter.
'Jacob is so much better! At least he didn't leave her to her fate!' yelled a shrill girl's voice.
I sighed. Twilight fans. Great. Ever since those terrible books and movies became a hype, my kind had to operate even more underground than we already did. We lost a lot of respect and teenage girls had girls had become a no-go: they all thought we'd become their personal Edward Cullen. At least that's what Daniel told me. I've never been one for teenage girls. Much too bitter to my taste.
A group of hysterical Twihards walked past my tree. I would have loved to shut them up for good, but their disappearance would attract too much attention. That's why I always went for tramps: nobody gave a fuck if yet another blood-drained tramp's body was found in the San Francisco Bay.
The group passed by, but they weren't at the corner at the street yet when one of them began to scream even more hysterically than before.
'What's wrong? What's wrong?!'
'I left my cell phone at the cinema! My parents are going to kill me! I've got to get my cell!'
One of the girls, standard Barbie doll type, short skirt and uggs, you know the kind, turned around and started back my way.
'Becky, you can't go back all by yourself!'
I pushed a few leaves aside and sniffed the air. Her blood smelled good. Nothing special, but better than your average tramp
'You just go home, I'll be fine!' she told her friends.
To me surprise her fellow Barbie dolls shrugged and disappeared around the corner. I sniffed the air once more. I was thirsty and this opportunity was too good to let go. I could wait all night for a smelly old tramp who'd probably taste like cheap booze, or I could take a gamble. She was only five meters away from my tree... three... two...
I let myself drop out of the tree, on top of her, and pinned her shoulders to the concrete sidewalk with my knees. I covered her mouth with my hand and checked if the street really was empty.
I brushed some of the long blonde hair out from her neck, so I could get to her carotid artery. Believe me, a mouth full of hair is no problem for a drinking vampire, but it's far from pleasant.
The girl didn't even put up a struggle. She just stared at me and then... Then she did something no one had ever done to me: she licked my hand.
'Gross,' I muttered while wiping my hand on her shirt. But before I got the chance to continue where I'd left off, the girl opened her mouth and I was washed away by a tsunami of words.
'Oh my god, oh my god, you're one of them, you're really one of them! And now you're going to bite me and turn me into a vampire so we can be together forever and ever and ever, just like Twilight!'
Daniel was right, teenage girls had become a no-go. And this one was stupid too. The problem was that I couldn't let her go at this point in time.
'Yes, of course I want to spend the rest of my eternal life with someone I don't know.' My voice was dripping with sarcasm, but she didn't seem to notice.
'Awesome,' she whispered. Then she brushed her all hair aside so I could get straight to her neck. Maybe teenage girls weren't a no-go after all.
I noticed she was shocked by the intense pain she felt when my fangs found home in the soft flesh of her neck. Her blood tasted better than I'd expected. Way better than the last I'd had.
I was sure I'd have enough time to finish the job. But at the exact moment I was thinking that, I heard footsteps coming my way. By that time the stupid Barbie doll had already lost so much blood that she'd lost conciousness.
I looked up and saw somebody come around the corner. Then I looked at the Barbie doll. It would be a huge risk to stop drinking at this point, but the consequences of being discovered were far worse. Besides, I thought there was enough time left and no one would worry about an unconcious girl lying next to a tree. It was a big city, things like that happened.
I jumped back up in my tree, back to the brancj that would hide me from view completely.
The footsteps I'd heard belonged to a drunk middle-aged man. With a bottle of whisky in his hand he bent over to take a look at the figure on the sidewalk. He mumbled something, took a big swig of whisky and tapped the Barbie doll softly on the head with his foot. When she didn't react to that, he kicked her and said: 'Hey, wake up!'
I smiled. When the prey's unconcious, they'd never wake up again. Unless the hunter made a mistake. Unless the hunter waited too long...
Meanwhile the man was searching his pockets, probably looking for a cell phone. I cursed. This could become a problem. If that drunk succeeded at sounding the alarms, I'd be screwed. Lucky for me, he didn't seem to find what he was looking for.
The man stared into the distance for a while, but then he seemed to come to a genius idea, 'cause he even put his beloved bottle of whisky down on the concrete before he got to work. He proceeded to search the girl's pockets.
'You won't find it there, mate,' I said just loud enough for him to hear me. Come on, the man was totally wasted, early next morning he wouldn't remember a thing. So I could have a little fun messing with him, right? Besides, time was running out and I wanted him out of here.
The man looked scaredly right and left, then ran for his life. I sighed and let myself drop to the concrete. I was already bent over the girl again when I heard the footsteps, that had disappeared around the corner barely a minute ago, come back. I cursed loudly while hiding in the tree again. I'd hoped the guy would stay away, but no, of course that had been too much to ask.
I was wondering why the mad had come back, when I saw him pick something up: his beloved bottle of whisky, which he'd left behind while running away in total panick. Then he stepped closer to the tree and accused it of stealing his booze.
I had trouble trying not to laugh at him. Especially when he decided to kick the tree, which resulted in his foot making painful cracking sounds. After doing the same thing with his other foot, with the same result, he gave up and finally stumbled away.

I waited. I knew I didn't have the time to wait, but I really didn't want to risk being seen by that drunk bloke. For all I knew he could have come back with a chainsaw to get his revenge on the tree. This never happened with the tramps from the park.
When I was finally sure the man wouldn't come back, the girl was still breathing. At least that was a good sign.
I came closer and knelt next to her. I cursed when I saw it: the weins in her neck and the right side of her face had become black. The venom, my venom, was spreading through her body. I was too late. I'd waited too long.
'Fuck,' I mumbled. It was the only appropriate word for the occasion. I stood up, kicked the tree out of sheer frustration and screamed at the night sky.
That night the word 'fuck' echod through the streets of San Francisco, endlessly screamed by one unlucky vampire.

Chapter 2 
It's a damn long walk from San Francisco to Half Moon Bay for mortals. It's a damn long walk for a vampire too, but at least it doesn't take as much time. But for a vampire who's draggin a real life Barbie doll along, it's a damn long way with way too much dead wight on your shoulders, which only makes your shoulder go to sleep.
Being a vampire isn't all bad. That night, however, it felt like nothing could be worse. Since the whole vampire hype had started, nothing but trouble had come our way. Talentless writers had blown our powers out of proportion in their books, or, much worse, reduced them to almost nothing and almost every single one of those writers let their male vampire fall head over heels in love with the mortal girl. As if we vampire's are that stupid.
Still Daniel and I had felt like something big was expected from us when the hype started. Pa hadn't felt that way; he'd been around for so long that nothing could surprise or shake him. Daniel and I didn't know what to do: try to live up to expectations, or bust all the bullshit? I'd felt the need to prove myself, but soon and unvoluntarily I found myself busting the bullshit. There was just too much of that nonsense these days. But that night, I wished at least one thing of all that crap was true. Like I said, it's a damn long way from San Francisco to Half Moon Bay, though it takes less time for a vampire. It's true we're faster than humans, but not as crazily fast as in a certain saga that portrays my kind as sparkling sissies. That night I wished I was that fast. I ran as fast as I could, but I cursed every time a car rushed past me on the Junipero Serra Freeway.

The lights in our house were out. I hadn't expected them to be on: even at night we preferred absolute darkness.
I kicked the back door open. The smell of beer and the noise of the tv hit me in the face.
'Laz!' Daniel yelled from his place on the couch. He raised his beer in the air as a greeting, a little too wildly. Beer flow out of the bottle, all over the couch and Daniel, who cursed loudly.
'Daniel, get your lazy ass off the couch.'
Daniel turned the tv up and said: 'What? Can't hear you?'
I kicked the back of the couch, got the unconcious Barbie doll of my shoulder and threw her on the couch.
'Hey dude! Calm down, man! What the hell is this?'
I was silent as I watched Daniel struggle to get the unconcious girl off him while trying to save his last bit of beer.
'Dude! What is this?!'
With a crash the motionless body fell to the floor, where it landed on a half empty bag of chips. Daniel shot me an annoyed look, then looked at the body on our living room floor. That was when he noticed all the veins in the body had turned black, giving it a charred look.
'Is this...' Daniel started to grin when it dawned on him what 'this' was. I remained silent, but Daniel laughed out loud. 'This is... genius! You have... Oh, this is great!' He drained his beer bottle. He almost choked on the last swig, which seemed no more than fair to me. 'Pa? Pa! Come down, old ma, you've got to see this!'
I sighed. Sometimes Daniel was nothing more than an asshole.
Pa stumbled down the stairs. He didn't seem to be in a hurry.
'Take a look at this, Pa,' Daniel yelled inbetween two laughing fits.
Pa entered the rom, shot a glance at the floor, than at the couch. His face became twisted with disgust. 'Daniel. Is this what I think it is?' he asked.
'Yes! Laz...'
'Did you spill beer all over the couch again?'
I laughed and Pa grinned. Daniel looked like a toddler who'd dropped his ice cream cone. 'But... Laz... Just look, Pa!' he yelled, pointing at the body that was half-hidden by the coffee table.
Pa walked to the table and picked up the remote control to turn the tv off. I heard Daniel mutter: 'I was watching that.' Sometimes Daniel was such a baby. A baby and an asshole.
Pa knelt to get a better look at the body. Daniel's grin returned. 'Who...' Pa started to ask when he realized what he'd found in his living room.
Daniel pointed at me with his thumb. 'Laz had an... 'accident', didn't you, Laz?'
'Shut up man, you're an accident yourself.'
Pa broke our fight up before it could become a real fight. 'Laz, is this really your accident?'
I nodded grimly. Daniel laughed out loud again. Pa only shook his head. Sighed once. Then put the Barbie doll on the couch. For a second I thought I heard him mumble something about 'accidents having accidents', but I think it was just my imagination.
The three of us sat in the living room for a while. On the floor, which was all soggy and sticky thanks to Daniel's beer. Nobody said anything. Every now and then Daniel snickered. When dawn broke, Pa got up and asked: 'You know what to do?'
I only nodded.
'Good. Daniel and I'll go get some sleep.'
'Can't Daniel stay here?'
'Your accident, your responsibility,' Pa answered.
I let out a sigh and shot Daniel an angry look.
'Yeah, your accident, your responsibility,' he repeated with a grin. Sometimes Daniel was nothing more than a sadist. A sadist, a baby and a huge asshole.

I was bored out of my mind. The Barbie doll hung in there longer than I'd expected. There was nothing on tv, except old Dora the Explorer episodes and thanks to my loving brother Daniel there wasn't a drop of beer left in the house.
Around 9.30am Barbie's heart finally stopped beating. The venom began to subside and her skin got its normal color back, as far as that had ever been visible underneath all thsoe layers of make-up. Around 2.15pm I fell asleep on the couch. I was sick and tired of waiting. Pa and Daniel could drop dead with their 'your accident, your responisbility'.

'Wake up, Laz.'
I got smacked in the face, moaned and turned to my other side.
'Wake up, Laz,' Pa said, more sternly this time and hitting me in the face once more.
I blinked once, twice. Pa stood next to the couch, the girl cowering behind hime, staring at me with big, scared eyes.
'What?' I said. 'You were sleeping all day, I had to stay up with that thing.' I made a vague gesture towards the girl, who hid behind Pa. I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep again.
The temperature in the room dropped at least ten degrees because of the cold anger that was coming of Pa in waves. '"That thing" has a name and "that thing" is your responsibility.'
'Sure. Could that thing be usefull and get me a sandwich?'
To my surprise that was exactly what she did. I grinned.
Pa could not appreciate the situation thoug. 'Responsibility is not the same as having a slave and you know that damn well. If you're old enough to have an accident, you're also old enough to take the responsibility for it.'
'But...'
'No buts. She's your responsibility. You took away her chance at having a normal life, now you can make sure she will be able to make something of this life.'
I cursed under my breath. Sure, he had a point. But that didn't mean I was looking forward to speding time with that plastic chick,
It was silent in the room until the girl came back with my sandwich.
'So,' Pa said to end the silence. He took the sandwich out of her hands and took a big bite while walking out of the room. He immediately came back and said: 'Good sandwich.'
I raised my hands. 'What the...?'
'And remember,' Pa said while eating more of my sandwich, 'this is your responsibility.'
'And that was my sandwich,' I mumbled.
'What did you say?' Pa yelled from halfway up the stairs.
'Enjoy my sandwich!' I yelled back, and under my breath I added: 'Hope you choke on it.'

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4 Fellow Ramblers

  1. That is good news. And I am in love with this story. :)
    Now that I think about it, if I would have published any of my stories at 15, I'm sure they would have been horrible. So yeah, I can't whine and pout about being "too old" to publish a book at 18.

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    Replies
    1. Too old at 18, pfffft XD Publishing at 18 is amazing.
      I'm so glad you like this story. I wish I had more time and motivation to keep writing :S

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  2. When you look back on writing from when you were younger isn't it cringeworthy? It's the same thing with me. Well, at least we have plenty of time to edit, right? ^.^

    xoxo Morning

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    Replies
    1. I spend all my time editing now XD But at least the most cringeworthy parts are better now

      Delete

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