Sticks and stones may break my bones, but some words will always keep hurting. I will always take them with me, wear them like invisible scars. But just because they're invisible, it doesn't mean they're not here. They're a big part of me, a part people don't know and understand. So for once I'll show you my scars and explain the world how I got them. I'm not doing this to see people tell me I'm none of the things I've been called in the past, no, I just want the world to see how much damage words can do.

Let me start with the oldest scar. The one right at the start of this post. I got it from a teacher in 6th grade.
You know that one kid in class who knows the answer to every question? The Hermione? That used to be me. I raised my hand at every question, corrected my teachers when they were wrong and spent most of my time daydreaming because I finished all my work so quickly. My teachers didn't like that.
One day though, our math book gave an unclear instruction and I couldn't figure out what to do. When I asked my teacher for help, she saw her chance and grabbed it.
"Now you're not so smart anymore, are you? Where's your big mouth now?" she ranted in front of the whole class. "Don't think you're smart. You always think you're oh so smart, but you're not! You're worthless!"
My classmates laughed as I looked down in shame, tears streaming down my face. The words hurt me and the one that hurts me most stuck to my skin. I't been eight years, but I can still see this scar clear as day. The sad thing is that it wasn't the only scar I was given by a 6th grade teacher.

There were only a few days left of 6th grade when I got this one. Out of nowhere, my teacher decided to bring me down after I'd given the correct answer to a question.
"Envy, you're such a know-it-all. It's extremely annoying. If you go on like this, you'll never have any friends. All teachers will hate a know-it-all like you."
Again my classmates laughed as I cried with frustration. I took the hits and blows, knowing I'd be out of that school soon. But the scars stayed, as ugly reminders of my days in 6th grade hell.

I hoped I wouldn't add any new scars to my collection once I entered high school, but after one look at my face, my new classmates decided I was ugly. Everyone knows that ugly girls should be bullied, so that's exactly what my classmates did. My mentor knew about it, but didn't do anything to help me, because 'the other kids are right, Envy is ugly'.
You'll never forget that feeling of knowing that everyone around you thinks you're ugly. You get insulted and mocked, even your friends take part in it. And over time, the insults become more and more creative, more and more hurtful.
"Damn, your nose is so huge!"
"Your eyebrows make you look like an orangutan!"
"If an orc had a miscarriage that'd somehow live and grow up, it'd look just like you!"
At some point you can't shake it off anymore. It's like the insults get etched into your skin, deeper and deeper. The insult I heard most was this single simple word. Ugly. My other invisible scars might disappear one day, years from now maybe. This one never will.


The last scar I'll show isn't as old as the others. I got it recently, in September 2015. Meghan Trainor had kickstarted skinny shaming just a couple months earlier and so one of my oldest friends thought it was okay to call me "anorexic". This one hurt terribly, not just because the blow came from a friend I'd seen as the sister I'd never had, but also because I'd lost weight because I'd been sick for a couple of days. It was weight I didn't want to lose and when my friend pointed out that guys don't like girls my size and that I looked like I had anorexia, I broke down. I cried myself to sleep that night.

Now that I've shown my scars, I don't know what to do. I feel vulnerable and weak. Hurt and, to be honest, quite ugly and worthless. But my scars are part of who I am, they made me this person I am today. I hope you can respect that. I hope  you can understand how they have affected the way I look at and think about myself. But most of all I hope you'll be kind to others and never scar them the way I've been scarred.

Stay Awesome!