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Lost in Translation


'You're staying in Bethlehem for the next three nights,' the tour guide announced. 'From what I've heard, as I'm not allowed to go there because I'm Jewish, it's a boring city with very little to do, especially at night.'
I raised my eyebrows in surprise, skeptical. I hadn't been in Israel for long, but long enough to question the tour guide. He had quite a few opinions I didn't agree with at all. I wondered if he'd be right about Bethlehem. It's a weird thing to hear a tour guide be so negative about a place you're staying in. I was used to getting recommendations, but I'd never heard a guide flat-out say that there's nothing to do just before you enter a new city where you're going to spend three nights. Call it boring even. So I braced myself and prepared for the worst. I'd only spend three nights in the Palestinian Territories, and though three boring nights is nothing to look forward to, I told myself I'd be fine. I had my book and a notepad: enough to keep me entertained for three boring nights.

Right after our tour guide's uplifting announcement, we joined the little traffic jam at Checkpoint 300. Getting through the West Bank Barrier already proved a tedious task, But the minute we actually entered the Palestinian Territories, I started to seriously doubt the tour guide's words. Enormous murals covered the Palestinian side of the wall. A larger than life Donald Trump peered through a crack, the colors of Palestine were everywhere. My heart skipped a beat; I love me some political street art. Mere seconds later, I spotted an original Banksy and I just knew I was going to like this place.

That night, I tagged along with half of my tour group for a tour of Jerusalem by night. We spent the next morning at Yad Vashem, the World Holocaust Remembrance Center in Jerusalem. I was starting to wonder why the tour guide had made a point of labeling Bethlehem as boring when we'd spend very little time there anyway. It wasn't until the afternoon that we got to explore Bethlehem by ourselves. Most people in the tour group to go with some other tour guide to see some places of biblical significance. I decided to join them for a little while, as their first stop would be the Nativity Church, built in the exact location where Jesus was born. Despite having no connection to Christianity whatsoever, I had to visit this church.


The Nativity Church was being restored, with scaffolding hiding most of the interior. The parts that weren't covered were decorated with so many baubles and other stuff that it made me dizzy. I was glad when I entered the cavern to the place where Jesus entered this world. The cavern is bare and basic, not special at all if you had no idea what happened there once upon a time. Still I'd recommend a visit. What happened on that very spot according to the Bible is still influencing the lives of billions of people every single day. Maybe it's just me, but I think that's not boring at all.

Okay, I know there are a lot of people who would call the Nativity Church boring. But that's not all Bethlehem has to offer. When I left the church, I was almost literally bouncing with excitement for my next little adventure: I was going to look at the art on the West Bank Barrier with a Frysian couple from the tour group, with whom I became friends thanks to a shared interest in things that the tour guide didn't want us to see. We walked back to the West Bank Barrier and approached it from Manger Street, taking our time to enjoy the streets of the old city center.
The West Bank Barrier itself was an absolute highlight for me. Palestinians came up to us to tell their story and we saw the side of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict that the tour guide tried to keep from us. Even if you don't care about politics, it's a great place to spend a few hours. The art is top notch and if you want to, you can hire spray cans and leave your own mark on the wall. And of course, there's the Walled Off Hotel for the dedicated Banksy fans among us.


We still had quite some time left when we returned to the streets of Old Town Bethlehem. Walking those streets is another thing some people may find boring, but I loved it. This part of town is so picturesque and full of character that I would've snapped shots of every piece of pavement if the sun and shadows hadn't ruined the lighting. For me personally, it was also fun to wander the streets of Bethlehem because a former co-worker of mine used to live there. 'I wonder if she's been here. Or here. Or here,' I found myself thinking.
My Frysian friends and I found ourselves on a rooftop terrace, where we had some drinks before we ended the day at the KFC with the best view a fast food chain could possibly have. I'd already enjoyed Bethlehem way more than I'd initially expected, and still had one night left in the town.


The next morning we left Bethlehem once again, this time for a visit to the citadel of Masada, Ein Gedi and the Dead Sea. We returned late in the afternoon and for the first time, I felt a little bored. My friends and I went to the market, but all the stalls were cleared out already. We then went back to our rooftop terrace, which was closed for some mysterious reason. In search of a new terrace, I mistook a Jesus museum for a restaurant, but I like to pretend that never happened. In the end, we settled for a place on Manger Square, right next to the mosque, which almost blew my eardrums out with its call to prayer. Honestly though, I loved being there and watching life happen on the Square while my friends and I talked about just about everything. We ended our day, and our stay in Bethlehem, on another rooftop terrace with a view of the entire city.

Looking back on my time in Bethlehem, I can't say I was ever truly bored. I actually get a bit annoyed when I think about the tour guide saying there's nothing to do there. It is simply not true. Bethlehem is a place you need to explore on your own. You have to put some effort in. And the more effort you put in, the more Bethlehem will have to offer you. So don't let old men put you off. Go out and explore!

x Envy
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With swift movements, my hairdresser started cutting off about 30 centimeters of my hair. It was a spontaneous idea, born the minute she picked up a few strands to examine my curls. I immediately agreed to her plan. Every time I looked in the mirror, my hair reminded me of the shitty chapters of my life that I wanted to leave behind for good.

Since late 2015, I've worn my hair long. Very long, usually till halfway down my back. I think I had a grand total of three haircuts between then and now, and I always stuck to the same hairstyle. My hair was long when I went through a serious break-up, my hair was long when I was more or less forced to quit college, my hair was long when I was in therapy for my inferiority complex. And it was long when I started hating blogging for becoming overly commercialized.
Somehow all these negative experiences and feelings became entangled in my long curly hair. My hair represented every trauma I wanted to leave behind. Instead, I was confronted with them every time I looked in the mirror. Eventually, I started avoiding reflective surfaces, especially when my parents were traveling in Canada and I was too busy keeping the house habitable. Those were some strange weeks. My body was busy, but my mind sat idly in the corner. I spent most of those days slowly making a plan for the future. I didn't blog so I wouldn't get distracted. Neither did I write or read much. Pretty soon I was focused on getting ready for university. And as the pieces of the puzzle of this new time in my life were presented to me, I decided I don't want to be a blogger. I want to be a storyteller, and this blog will be my medium. The minute I came to this conclusion was the minute I felt like I could finally chase my dreams and make them come true at university.
Yet on the rare occasions when I saw my own reflection again, I was reminded of the unhappy, failed blogger who'd dropped out of college. I'd fall back into a gloomy pit of destructive thoughts. The past swallowed me whole whenever I looked in a mirror. I knew I could not let that keep happening. I had to make a change. And that's why I decided to cut my hair off. So I could let my life begin again at university without constantly being reminded of the past.

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In a few seconds, my long hair was gone. A few minutes later, I had a short, wavy bob. I couldn't help but smile when I saw myself in the mirror.
My hairdresser showed me the ponytail she'd just cut off. 'It's really heavy,' she said as she handed me my hair. It weighed way more than I expected, as if it really was saturated with all the pain, all the hurt and all my demons from the past few years. I grinned as my hairdresser dumped it all in the bin. 'You're free.'
'I'm free,' I said too. Free to start over, free to begin again. Finally. I'm ready to turn the page and start the next chapter. Will you join me?
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About me


Envy. Dutch blogger. Est. 1996. No relation to the famous biblical sin. Worst bio writer on this side of the blogospere. Lives on cookies, apple juice and art. Friendly unless confronted with pineapple on pizza. Writes new nonsense every Thursday.

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