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Lost in Translation


When my ex-boyfriend and I split up, he left me with two good things: a friendship with Louise from Louise Chatters, and a (sort of) healthy interest in his football club, VVV-Venlo. I started following the matches out of pure necessity: a loss meant walking on eggshells and a depressed and/or irritated boyfriend. After the break-up, I kept following the matches out of habit. Both the sport and the team grew on me. I didn't know a thing about football, which made discussing it with my friend Stefanie all the more fun. She was pretty clueless too, but as she's from the Breda area we developed a friendly rivalry between her team, NAC Breda, and mine. This went so far that when I quit college, we promised we'd see each other again, next season at the match between NAC and VVV. It started out as a joke, but then something unexpected happened in January: we actually went to that football match.

On January 27th I took the train to Breda. I still couldn't quite believe what was going to happen that day. I hadn't been to a major league football match since early 2007. To say I'd enjoyed that match would be a lie. My classmates, with whom I'd attended the match, had either been mean to me or had ignored me the entire time. This match was going to be different though. I was going to see my team play for the first time, as I'd always followed matches on Twitter, and I couldn't be more excited to see the match with Stefanie. It was going to be an amazing night, I just knew it.

Just after 7pm Stefanie and I arrived at the stadium with her father-in-law, who'd gotten us the tickets. At that moment I finally fully realized what I'd gotten myself into. I was the only VVV supporter waiting in line with tons of NAC supporters. I'd be sitting right in the middle of them. During the wait, the bus with my team arrived and I freaked out. Supporters of other clubs might have put me into hospital right then and there, but not those of NAC Breda. Sure, they frowned or looked surprised. Some might have been annoyed. They probably just found it very weird But they let me be excited to see my team arrive and I appreciated that. 
The police must have found my excited behaviour a little suspicious though because the second I entered the stadium I was pulled out of line so they could check if I was carrying any illegal items. I laughed this off; I know it must have been weird to hear a girl with a western accent visiting a southern derby, shouting how much she likes the opponent.

The stadium was still mostly empty when we arrived at our seats. I immediately felt my vertigo kick in, as the stands were steeper than I'd ever expected. I was glad when a man sat down on the seat in front of mine: at least he'd break my fall if I went down. And falling down quickly became a real option, as Stefanie's father-in-law was kind enough to buy me a beer. Now I liked that beer, but it made me a little less steady on my feet. I already wasn't that steady anyway, because I was literally bouncing up and down with excitement. I don't regret drinking the beer though. I jokingly called it 'a way to blend in with the football crowd'.


In hindsight, I don't really know why I even tried blending in with the NAC supporters, as my continuous appreciation for VVV made me stick out like a sore thumb. I was actually quite proud of being there for my team, only more so when Stefanie's father in law introduced me to people with the words: 'This is Envy. She supports VVV and makes enough noise for an entire bus full of supporters.' I had to be that loud though, as there were barely any other VVV supporters there that night.

After about 45 minutes of waiting in the cold and watching players of both teams warm up (NAC already with shouts of support from the stands, while VVV was booed at right away), the match started. It was a goosebumps moment like I've never witnessed before. The stadium exploded with excitement and support, flags were everywhere and supporters were chanting songs and such. There was even a Carnaval song about flowers that got stuck in my head for days. On top of that NAC started the match strong. We sat behind the goal, just to the right of it, and had a perfect view of every attack NAC placed. Every single time NAC came close to the goal and VVV's goalkeeper had to make a move everyone around me would stand up, sit down when NAC failed to score, stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down. This happened so often in the first ten minutes that it felt like a workout. Lucky for me, NAC didn't manage to score in the first half. Neither did VVV. I have to admit I was shitting bricks though. NAC was strong and I loved the way they played the game, but I didn't want VVV to lose. They needed to move. I tried to keep most of my thoughts about my team to myself though. Not everyone around me seemed to be okay with me supporting the other team (an older man in front of me kept giving me death stares) and I wanted to show some respect to the people who were basically having me as a guest in their stadium that night. However, I couldn't help myself when the thing I'd been waiting for the entire night happened: my favorite VVV player got some playing time as the second half started.
'Opoku, my man!' I shouted, which resulted in another death stare from the old man in front of me. 'Now we're gonna score, just watch!'

The wind changed its direction in the second half. Rain came pouring down. Stefanie and I watched and watched, following Opoku's moves closely. By that time I was actually secretly hoping NAC would win. Like I said, that team was playing beautifully. VVV, on the other hand, was more like a brick wall when they were in the defense. And once that wall started moving forward, it was like an indestructible tank, pushing everything in its way aside. Not the kind of football I was hoping to see that night from my team.
Yellow cards were suddenly awarded left and right. As the second half passed by, players became more desperate and Stefanie and I saw our teams through rose-colored glasses: whenever NAC made some kind of foul move, Stefanie would yell that the VVV players involved were just being crybabies. When VVV pushed a NAC player to the ground I'd shrug and say: 'Barely touched the guy.'
Then, when I wasn't expecting it anymore, VVV came up strong. Approached the goal. And finally scored! While all the NAC supporters around me stood up, yelling and whistling angrily, I bent over and let out a silent victory scream. 0-1. VVV didn't give NAC another chance. We won.
'I told you I'm VVV's lucky charm!' I said to Stefanie. 'I told you we were going to win!' But deep down inside, I wished NAC had won, for the beautiful way they'd played that night.


Stefanie and I left the stadium in an adrenaline rush that night, one of us slightly happier than the other. It might have started as a joke, but it ended as an amazing experience. Right then and there we decided to go to NAC-VVV next season as well. We have no idea when that will happen (if it will happen at all, as NAC has been in the relegation zone almost all season), but I already can't wait. Here's to many more matches between our two favorite football clubs!

x Envy
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Cuba. Land of communism and cocktails. The country had been on my wishlist for so long that I literally did a happy dance (in private) when I bought a ticket to Varadero. I spent a lot of time on the plane thinking and wondering about this unique Caribbean island. I wanted to experience it for myself, the classic cars, the communism, the Cuba Libres. I was filled with giddy excitement to explore a world so different from my own. But when I got off the plane, all I felt was... confusion.

Varadero's international airport was small and not the most professional one out there, but compared to that of Laos' capital Vientiane it was luxurious. Tour operator employees picked me and my parents up from the arrivals hall. So far so good. Then I spotted my first classic car - right next to Cubans with expensive-looking smartphones. Modern day technology next to a car that was already around in the 60's. My mind did a very poor job at handling that anachronistic image and became even more confused when I saw horse carts next to the highway on our way to the hotel. It was like seeing the entire past century compressed into a single day.

I spent the rest of that first day near Hotel Tuxpan. I only left it to explore Varadero's beach, which is 12 kilometers long and known as the most beautiful beach on the planet. That night I felt like I'd missed something on my walk. Like I hadn't seen the real Cuba yet. Sadly I didn't get the chance to see the real Cuba either, as we were welcomed to the island by a tour operator employee in the bar of the villa of an arms dealer who'd become rich during the First World War.


While I was enjoying my first Cuba Libre and realized I quite like the taste of rum, my dad booked us excursions to the Yumuri Valley and Havana. The bar's walls seemed to be closing in on me, so I stood outside on the balcony for most of the time. Something wasn't okay, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I was not seeing Cuba's real face and felt disconnected from the country I was visiting. It made me feel restless. The all-inclusive hotel was nice and way cheaper than any of our other options for a Cuba trip, but it struck me as a facade. An illusion made for tourists. I was so relieved when we left the hotel that day and walked to the center of Varadero.

I saw beautiful classic car after beautiful classic car in Varadero, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that I was living in a Cuban theme park. I still wasn't seeing the real Cuba I was longing for, but at least I was getting closer. I was just touching the surface, almost there yet still pretty far away. We took a cab back to the hotel that night. Not just any cab, but an old American car that would be perfect for a wedding. During the ride home, with music blasting from the stereo, something clicked. I broke through the surface. I felt the vibe of the island.


In the days that followed, I saw the Cuban countryside in the Yumuri Valley, I visited the city of Matanzas and walked through the streets of Havana. I got a feel for the country and its friendly people. I tried speaking Spanish, which the locals really seemed to appreciate even though my Spanish is rusty. I felt safe walking the streets and beach by myself. Even though I felt like I'd escaped the carefully crafted illusion, I knew that I still wasn't all there is to Cuba. But I was seeing enough. I was happy. Relaxed. And in a new way, completely confused about Cuba.

The new dose of confusion was injected into my brain during my visit to Havana. It was the sixth day of our trip and even though I'd seen poverty in the countryside, I felt like most places I'd seen had their shit together. The people were friendly and every single Cuban has access to excellent health care and free education. You'd think that'd give Cuba a solid base to build its future on. You'd think communism at least did this stuff right. So why wasn't the country flourishing? Cuba reminded me a bit of my blog in that way: the groundworks were in place, but success did not follow.
My tour guide on the Havana trip explained that Cuba could be a much more prosperous country if it weren't for the US embargo. For what seemed to be the millionth time on that short trip, I was confused. Why is this embargo still in place? Only the US and Israel are in favor of this thing. Is the US really still afraid of communism? Because if you ask me, you won't see the Cubans invade other countries to spread their ideology. They're too busy gradually introducing tiny capitalist elements into their society and making tourists feel welcome. I felt sad for the island that decided to do things their way and still gets punished for it on a daily basis. Sad the Cubans still don't get a new chance, despite Obama's efforts...


I remained confused about Cuban's political situation until the day I left. Its ideology fascinates me, but I didn't see a sign of it being a threat. The only things reminding me that I actually was in fact in a communist country were murals and the dual currency system. So my confusion stayed with me, came to the airport and traveled home with me to the Netherlands. Sometimes I still find myself wondering about Cuba's real face and future. I'm afraid I won't find answers to my questions here at home. Maybe I will find them one day, but for now, I'm happy I got the chance to see the place with my own eyes. Cuba welcomed me and showed me just enough of itself to keep me intrigued. It takes a very special kind of place to have that effect on me. I hope Cuba will intrigue you as well over the next few weeks, as I'll take you on a digital trip to my new favorite Caribbean island!

x Envy
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Envy. Dutch blogger. Est. 1996. No relation to the famous biblical sin. Worst bio writer on this side of the blogospere. Lives on cookies, apple juice and art. Friendly unless confronted with pineapple on pizza. Writes new nonsense every Thursday.

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