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Lost in Translation


If you'd asked me four days ago what my plans were for the weekend before Christmas, this probably would have been my answer: 'Eating and sleeping.' To be honest, add a cross country race to that and you've got my average weekend. I was looking forward to a quiet weekend at home, but then something better came along: a street art project called Daydream010 popped up in my news feeds. An art school student put a number of posters of fantasy animals up on walls in the centre of Rotterdam as part of her college education. The route was available online. I had to walk it asap.


On Saturday morning my dad and I got on the bus to Rotterdam. Whenever map-reading comes into play with one of these routes I drag my dad along, because he's good at it and I did not inherit his path finding skills at all. Of course I could have relied on the digital version of the map and GPS, but I was almost out of data for the month and my dad is better company than my phone.
We got off the subway at Oostplein, not too far from the first poster. Of course I walked right into the wrong street, because I knew that one from Mission Bunbun, before my dad told me I was going the wrong way. Soon I found myself photographing a fluffy chameleon-like animal on the wall of a supermarket. As I stood between bikes and bicycles to see it from up close, an elderly couple passed me by, expressing their confusion at what I was doing. Then they noticed NixNix, the chameleon, and said to each other: 'Look how cute that is.' It made me pretty happy to see these older people noticing and appreciating art that's usually frowned upon by their generation.

My dad didn't have to drag me out of the wrong street again when we started our search for the next two posters. These were easy to find, as they were both underneath the iconic Kubuswoningen. They're also very clearly marked on the map, so it took little effort to find Ówiger. This little dude just looks so awesome between all these tags. On the online map I read up on his bio. Not only does every single one of these creatures have a name, the artist has also written their bios and tells what inspired her to create them. They all come for the daydreams she's had while walking through Rotterdam, which makes these little creatures look right at home in the city centre. The artist's aim is for people to start daydreaming more. This is how Daydream010 came to be. I'd only seen three of her 'daydreams' so far, but couldn't wait to see what was up ahead.


And then disaster struck. Even with help from the GPS we couldn't find the next location. At one point I was standing right on top of the mark on the map, but didn't see anything. Then my dad pointed the last traces of pink antlers out on the wall. The rest of the poster was gone. It looked like it had been ripped off. Of course there's always a chance of pieces disappearing before you get to see them, especially when they're posters, but since I'd read about Daydream010 on Thursday I didn't expect the posters to be gone already. With the fear of all of them being gone already I continued my way, hoping the other creatures were still hanging in there.


I started to regret coming to Rotterdam as I walked along the river. The wind was chilling me to the bones and I could barely hold my camera up anymore. My fingers were completely frozen. I was rewarded for coming to the river bank with another fluffy creature. The next one on the map was halfway gone, but the other graffiti in that spot made up for it, if only a little. 


The route luckily didn't follow the river much longer and I soon came eye to eye with Chimla, the mascot of the big red ship that everyone who's ever been near Wijnhaven knows. I was glad to see this little guy intact. I'd found my cover star for this blog post.
The creature on the poster closest to him hadn't been this lucky. This cute little thing's midriff had been torn away. The upper half was still there, offering a flower as a present to the harbour's cranes. The look of it made me sad and I feared the worst when we couldn't find the next poster either. I was ready to give up when I finally spotted these two hugging on a trash can.


We continued our way down the Witte de Withstraat. No luck here, another poster gone. I enjoyed the ones I did see, in fact, I loved them. But one of them broke my heart when my dad found it in the gutter of the Luchtsingel. Maybe it's the paper, maybe it's the glue the artist used, but this little fellow didn't last long. It deserved better than that gutter. As I looked at it from up close I could see the brush strokes and the texture of the paint. These posters are so amazingly well-made that I wish they'd last an eternity.


I didn't have high hopes of finding the last three creatures on the map, all located near one of Rotterdam's very few buildings, the Laurenskerk. Indeed I couldn't find the first of these three, despite standing right next to it and having stood right next to it a few days earlier as well. Luckily I spotted it from across the water when I was on my way to a very Egyptian-looking creature. These two were so beautiful, but the last one of the entire route became my favorite. Swarell is a combination of a bat and a ray, who lives in the tower of the Laurenskerk. This one looks super cute, but also a little demonic in my opinion. I think it's funny to have a creature like this living in a church of all places.


Early in the afternoon we'd completed the route. I wish I'd seen more of these daydream creatures, but that's the thing with street art: you never know when it's going to be gone. I'm glad I saw as many as I did (and I wish I could buy them as stickers because they are that awesome), but if you want to do this route yourself you have to be quick: they could be gone in no time now!

x Envy
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12 Fellow Ramblers

The seed for my street art obsession was planted in Slovenia. It grew and grew in the Netherlands. Then all of a sudden I had a ticket to Bangkok and a plan that'd lead me to Laos and Cambodia as well. At that point in time I only knew a little about street art in Thailand because a Dutch artist had just been there. Laos and Cambodia were a total mystery. Was there even a street art scene there? I had no idea, so I set out on a mission to see what kind of street art Southeast Asia has to offer. Come along and explore with me!

Thailand


Upon arrival in Bangkok I learned it wouldn't be difficult to find street art in Thailand. Khao San Road is full of stickers from artists from all over the world - it took me about five seconds to find a Dutch Ox-Alien sticker. Tags were literally everywhere, but for guerrilla pieces you need to check out the docks at the klongs, the channels in Bangkok. Boat rides on the klongs are a big thing among tourists, so you can be a typical tourist while checking out local artists' work.


The city is a real goldmine with commissioned pieces scattered all over the place. There is one enormous wall near the Oasis Hostel which was a collab between Ox-Alien, Edo Rath and Thai artist Alex Face. I'd hoped to find this wall because I'd been seeing it on Instagram all Spring long, but cried happy tears when I found it literally a few hundred meters away from my hostel.


Now I'm always a bit more excited about Ox-Alien walls than any other pieces (what can I say, I like bright colors in bland cities), but Bangkok had so much more in store than just some walls from an artist I knew from back home: the old library that was being renovated had loads of murals. The streets in the Khao San Road area surprised me in the best way possible.


After leaving Bangkok for Chiang Mai I wasn't sure I'd see any more good street art. My doubts turned out to be for nothing: Alex Face has also been to Chiang Mai. If you want to see his work you have to explore the streets just outside the old city walls. Old Town Chiang Mai is beautiful, but the street art inside these walls is a little harder to find. Don't worry though, if you take a walk around the outside of the walls you'll see plenty of art without even putting in any effort. Unlike the pieces in Bangkok, Chiang Mai's art is local for the most part.


Thailand was an allround street art success. Which isn't surprising, considering that the country organizes plenty of (international) street art festivals. This year the city of Pattaya was filled with murals. Sadly I didn't get to see those, but that gives me a good reason to go back to Thailand some time.


Laos


I arrived in Laos after one day in a van from Chiang Mai to the border, then spent two days on the slow boat. On my third full day in Laos I set foot in Luang Prabang, where I finally had the chance to see Lao street art - if only there'd been anything to see.
Luang Prabang was weirdly clean. There was the occasional sticker here and there, but no big pieces. Barely any tags. Almost nothing at all. I refused to give up on Lao street art so easily, but things didn't get much better when I went to Vientiane. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Laos is a communist country. The only big mural I saw was a commissioned piece with so much communist symbolism it made me cringe.


Laos is more of a sticker country than anything else, probably because stickers on telephone poles and lantern posts seem to be the main way of advertising stuff. You can put them up in broad daylight and no one even bats an eye. My favorite sticker was one of a yellow dancing elephant. No interesting mural though: spray cans are strictly used for this kind of stuff.


Cambodia


After a slight disappointment in Laos, Cambodia's street art was a big surprise. Cambodia had everything: stickers, pieces, tags, stencils, everything! Cambodia doesn't really know what to do with street art though. It's waging a war on graffiti while organizing the occasional street art event at the same time. As a result, walls that have been painted during a festival are white washed a few weeks later. This made finding street art in the capital Phnom Penh difficult: even if someone posts a picture and location online today it might be gone tomorrow. Cambodia street art has en extremely short life span, even for street art standards. Keeping your eyes open is a must, and you also need a bit of luck. For example, I never would have spotted this amazing piece if my hotel hadn't had a rooftop bar and pool.


On street level the art disappear within the blink of an eye. It was a stroke of luck that a few pieces hidden behind food carts caught my eye when I was on my way to the Killing Fields. When I went back there I noticed a weird pyramid shape which I'd seen in Bangkok as well. Next to it was a slightly unsettling stencil, the one of only two stencils I saw in Southeast Asia. I had faith in Cambodian street art as I left Phnom Penh and continued my journey towards Siem Reap.


Siem Reap wouldn't be what it is today if it weren't for its close proximity to Angkor Wat. There isn't much to see and do there, yet it had one thing I didn't see in any of the other places I visited: a Hall of Fame. Along the river a construction side that's been boarded off has now the biggest Hall of Fame I've seen since my visit to Utrecht.


There are so many pieces here, but this on was my favorite. As you take the tuktuk from Angkor Wat back to Siem Reap you'll see more pieces by this artist - all bright, colorful and beautiful.


Wandering around Siem Reap will not lead to disappointment either. Illegal pieces in Cambodia are a lot more hidden and harder to find than the ones in Thailand (probably because of the frequent white washing), but they're there if you don't walk straight past dark alleyways. Gotta give my dad props for finding this one.


My four weeks in Southeast Asia were almost over when I left Siem Reap. I returned to Europe with a camera full of street art pictures, a head full of Southeast Asian street art facts and quite a few scraps of paper I'd stuffed into my pockets after putting my own street art stickers up while hunting for the best pieces of this part of Asia. Because how can you love street art this much without making the world a little more coloful yourself? Maybe I'll give you an insight into that adventure as well, but for now let's enjoy one last Southeast Asian street art picture.

x Envy
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10 Fellow Ramblers

Growing up I noticed stickers everywhere in my hometown. I never paid much attention to them, as they're usually Feyenoord stickers, weird things to promote and support the local major league football club. Only when I did a street art tour in Utrecht I learned that stickers are part of street art. An underestimated part of street art if you ask me. I'd never done anything with this art form, never looked at stickers, nothing. Then, at the end of the tour in Utrecht, I got four Bunbun stickers to spread in my own city. There were only two rules I had to obey in doing so:
1) Don't put them on private property
2) ...
I forgot the second rule...
With those two rules not so firmly in mind I went home, thinking of places to leave my stickers. I planned, planned, planned... and so Mission Bunbun started.


Bunbun was looking up at me from two stickers as I made plans on the trainride home. His girlfriend was on the third and tried to hold her skirt down Marilyn Monroe style on the fourth. They're created by a street artist from Utrecht, who's now spread his stickers all over the place. They're funny, quite cute, but more than often than not they're dirty and rude - and I love it. There are even two Bunbun books with short comics. If dark and dirty humor is your thing, you should check them out. I know I'm going to when my next paycheck comes in.
While I was looking at these stickers I thought long and hard about the best places to put them up. Sadly my hometown isn't big on street art, so there aren't many good places to showcase street art stickers. In fact I could only think of one: the garbage can at the bus station. It's the only place in town covered in stickers. Mostly stickers from football clubs, but still.
As I got off the train and on the bus my stomach started doing backflips. I'd never illegally stuck stickers on anything. And now I was going to do just that in one of the busiest places in town, right across from the police station.
I peeled the paper off the back of the first sticker right as the bus pulled into the station. I was all set and ready. It was quiet at the bus station, as I'd hoped but not expected. The bus stopped. I got off. I hid the sticker in my hand. Reached out for the garbage can - and noticed two older ladies staring at me.
I pulled my phone out and pretended I was texting until they'd go away or at least stop staring. They did neither. Within two minutes I'd lost my patience. I smashed the sticker onto the garbage can and ran away. My first street art sticker mission was a complete success so far. Though I needed to work on my exit.


The next day I looked at my stickers again. One down, three to go. I put two stickers aside for Rotterdam. Then I turned one around and wrote Düsseldorf in big swirly letters on the back. It was April and I'd somehow convinced my college to let my class organize a field trip to Düsseldorf in Germany. The idea of representing a Dutch artist abroad got me all hyped up.
First I had to complete the part of Mission Bunbun that took part in Rotterdam though. I wanted these stickers to be in places where other artists had put up theirs, so it'd be like a miniature street art gallery. Not that I knew of any place like that, so I started roaming the streets of Rotterdam before going to college on the by then rare occasions that I did go. One day, after revisiting the housing block that the Bushwick Collective had taken over, I took the Hoogstraat because I was pretty much lost and could see the Martkhal in the distance from that street. That's where I found loads and loads of stickers by street artists I'd discovered online. I knew right then and there I was going to leave my Bunbun stickers here one day. 'One day', because I was way too chicken to do it immediately. With my last epic exit fresh in mind I went back to the drawing board and carefully planned part two of Mission Bunbun.

As my life started to fall apart in the second half of April, I took the two stickers I'd picked for Rotterdam out of my sticker safe. It was time. I was ready.
I took the subway to Oostplein, first sticker already in hand. It took me a minute to find the Hoogstraat again. I have the sense of direction of a dead carrier pigeon. No lie. When I did find the street I soon ran into an old mail box completely covered in stickers. It was perfect, but I still had that one rule in mind. No private property. I wasn't sure if this counted as private property. The mail box was attached to some kind of store front, but looked like it hadn't been used in ages. I looked around once, twice, completely freaked out when I saw a guy walking on the other side of the street, then slapped the sticker onto the mail box and calmly walked away. Not a perfect execution, but far better than the attempt at the bus station.


Near the end of the street I came across a drainpipe that was just screaming my and Bunbun's name. There was exactly enough space for the round sticker in the pocket of my jeans. I told myself not to look suspicious whole putting it up, which probably instantly made me look suspicious. But I calmly stuck the sticker on the drainpipe and moved on. I had more or less mastered the art of sticker slappin'.


A few weeks passed and I was ready to bring my skills into practice. But then, after many previous disappointments, college decided to forbid my group of German students to visit Germany. At this point I was so frustrated with Hogeschool Rotterdam that I did something petty. I reached into my backpack, got the last Bunbun sticker out and smacked it right in the middle of a clock in a classroom when our teacher wasn't there. I'd effectively broken the only rule I'd remembered, but it felt good. My classmates laughed, I was finally a bit less sad and most important of all: Mission Bunbun had been completed!


What started out as a fun little thing during a street art tour turned into a six week project. And that six week project brought me deeper and deeper into the sticker side of the street art world. May saw my first attempts at a design, late June the first stickers and July and August were about spreading them across the globe. But that's a story for another time. A story that never would've started if it hadn't been for Bunbun.

x Envy
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12 Fellow Ramblers
I think I've spent most of my online life so far obsessing over pizza. Today that's going to change. Don't get me wrong, pizza is still amazing, but sometimes when you're on the other side of the world, you want to eat something else. Some local dishes, full of unknown spices and unexpected flavors. That's exactly what happened to me this summer. During my month in Southeast Asia I tried many different dishes at many different restaurants. Most of the food was great, but there were three places that managed to blow my mind. Three places with amazing food that I just have to tell you about today.

Saam House Restaurant


Most tourists quickly pass Saam House Restaurant in Bangkok by as if it's one of the city's many dodgy food carts. It's not very surprising when you take into account that the kitchen is a cart in the alley next to the building. This building literally is someone's house, you're seated right on their front porch and almost in their living room. It looks a little bit too weird for most newbie travellers, but there's more to Saam House Restaurant than meets the eye.
First of all it just looks like a really fun place with it's small tables, stools and chalkboards with the menu written on them in bright colors. But the best part is that you can't go wrong with any of their dishes. They have your basic pad thai and the best spring rolls of Southeast Asia. If you're a little more adventurous you can choose one of the countless lesser known Thai dishes on their menu. Just don't mistake a chili pepper for a piece of tomato, like my dad did. It's hilarious for everyone, from the other dinner guests to the super friendly owners of Saam House, but your tongue will die. Don't worry too much about spicyness though, because you can extinguish the fire in your mouth with the best fruit shakes in Thailand. You can pick anything from simple (yet delicious) banana to a mixed smoothie with fruits western ears have never even heard of before. Believe me, Saam House Restaurant will not disappoint you. It's the most authentic dinner experience I had in all of Thailand.
Where: the sois (side roads) of Samsen Road near the Oasis Hostel, Bangkok, Thailand.
Recommendation: the chicken with cashew nuts is a safe choice with an exotic touch that still makes my mouth water to this day. Combine it with a watermelon shake and you've got an amazing meal for about 4 dollars.



The Restaurant in the Alley


Okay, I know I said Saam House Restaurant's kitchen was in an alley and that probably already freaked some of you out, but this entire restaurant is hidden away in a small alley in Luang Prabang. I'm not sure if it even has a name... Anyway, this alley actually has two restaurant, but you're gonna wanna pick the restaurant on the right once you enter the alley. The furniture is all plastic, the kind of stuff we put in gardens here in Europe. Just like Saam House, this restaurant is a family business, which means that the children might just bring you your order. Especially the oldest daughter, who is about 8 years old, likes to help her parents. Don't be surprised if she mixes your order up with that of other guests though - none of the orders are written down and she's doing her best. Besides, thanks to one of her small mistakes I discovered my favorite Lao dish.
Of course the food here is amazing, but what really sold the place to me was the setting. Geckos run up and down the walls and you just might end up with a purring cat by your side at some point during your meal. On the big road tourists pass by on their way to the night market and fairy lights at the end of the alley give the place a magical glow. Perfect place if you're not afraid to step off the beaten track.
Where: the first alley on the right if you turn up Sisavangvong Road from Sakkaline Road in Luang Prabang, Laos.
Recommendation: I'll be forever grateful for the little daughter accidentally putting friend pork with garlic on our table. This dish is simply amazing. The restaurant has fruit shakes as well, but your trip to Southeast Asia isn't complete without a sip of bright green Fanta. Don't be afraid, despite its look it won't make your teeth fall out.

Saffron Coffee's Espresso, Brew Bar & Roastery


I don't drink coffee, but I do eat breakfast. That's why I found myself at Saffron Coffee, a coffee shop that would have stood its ground in any western metropolis with a big hipster population. It's open for breakfast and lunch and every tourist on the Luang Prabang peninsula should go there at least once. I can't say much about the coffee (except that it's made from Lao fairtrade beans, so by drinking your morning coffee here you help the country as well), but the tea was great. A big plus is that you get a class of ice cold water with every order, something you'll appreciate a lot in the crushing humidity of Laos. You barely get time to finish that glass - free ice cold refills all around!


If you're on the go, Saffron Coffee is perfect as well, as they sell brownies and carrot cake. Their breakfast menu is simply awesome. There's bagels and the best breakfast invention ever: the breakfast burrito, filled with potatoes, spinach and tomatoes. Neither breakfast item is cheap for Lao standards, but its worth every single kip. I promise you won't go hungry for hours and you'll have all the energy you need to explore the Luang Prabang area - maybe even by bicycle!
Where: Khem Khong, Luang Prabang, Laos.
Recommendation: You'll regret not ordering a breakfast burrito. All drinks here are great and keep in mind that you're helping local farmers with every order. Don't forget to check out their souvenirs and home ware on your way out. Not only do the pillow cases they sell look awesome, not only can you take your favorite Lao coffee home, these proceeds help the local community as well!


I'm serious, if I ever go to this part of the world again I already know where I'll be eating. These restaurants taught me that taking a risk is totally worth it. Which one would you like to go to?

x Envy
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8 Fellow Ramblers

I like trains. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I like trains. It doesn't matter if it's the Ghan from Alice Springs to Adelaide in Australia, the midnight train to Moscow in Russia or the simple train to the airport here in the Netherlands, I just enjoy the ride. And yes, I'll admit it, like any other Dutch train traveller, I've spent quite a lot of time complaining about the insane ticket prices and delayed trains, but deep in my heart I can't be mad at trains. Riding a train is like taking a time-out and as my life became crazier and crazier over the past year the train became the one place where I could relax and think instead of worry. Now I already think too much as is (yay for giftedness!) and when I'm on a train, my brain likes to go a little crazy with excitement. It's the same in every country, but easiest to illustrate by taking you on a virtual trip I took many times in 2016, from Rotterdam in the west of the Netherlands to Venlo in the south!

I like trains
I get 2,5 hours to myself, on a train. I don't have to do anything, just stare out of the windows, maybe read a book. I'll be there in no time. Seriously, trains are great. They're fast and shiny and so relazing. I like this. No, I love this.

Please don't let me miss my connecting train
Dear Dutch train gods, please don't let this train be late. Please don't let this train get stuck behind a cargo train. Please don't let me miss my connecting train, I don't want to be stuck in Dordrecht for half an hour. I can't handle that stuff. I have to catch that train at... when did it leave again? And from which platform? Why do I always forget important stuff like this when I go to the south?

My country is so beautiful
Yeah okay, most of it is flat green meadows with some water here and there, but have you ever seen the sun rise over Hollandsch Diep while crossing the Moerdijkbrug by train? It's so freaking beautiful. This more than makes up for having to wake up before 7 am.

There are so freaking many geese in Brabant
Seriously Brabant, what's up with all the geese? I can hardly see the grass of the meadows, that's how many geese there are. I wonder exactly how many there are here. I'm gonna count. Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight. That's a different bird. Not a goose. Teneleventwelvethirteenfourteenfifteen. Slow down train, I'm not done counting yet! Oh, never mind then...

My butt hurts. So bad.
This is pure pain from the waist down. Why did they put such hard seats in trains that literally go from one side of the country to the other? I can't sit anymore. Changing positions doesn't help. I don't know where to put my legs. This is no fun. And I'm not even in Eindhoven yet. Why am I doing this again?

I am in an empty train...
So everyone got off the train in Eindhoven. And now I'm all alone in this part of the train. Like fifty seats, all empty except for mine... This train does go to Venlo, right? What if it just goes to one of those places where they keep the trains, like a train garage thing to clean it or something, while I'm still here? No, this has to be the right train. Maybe people just don't go to the south in the morning?

How am I still not there yet?
I've been on this train since forever. I've been on this seat since forever. And I'm still not there yet. I guess I'm officially in the province of Limburg though. I'm not exactly sure, but the names of these places along the tracks do sound a bit southernish.

I'm going crazy on this train
I don't remember a time before this train. I am dead from the waist down. I have no idea how long I'm still going to be here. Probably for all eternity. Also, I'm hungry and I only have one cookie left. If I eat it now I won't have anything to eat on my way home... I'm eating it anyway before I lose my mind.

Why is a stop in Blerick even a thing?!
Seriously? No one ever gets off in Blerick, no one ever gets on. I can freaking see Venlo on the other side of the river, I can almost touch it and still we're making a stop here? Why?! Why wait for five minutes in freaking Blerick?! If I go running down the train tracks right now I'll beat the train to the station, no problem. Can we go now? We've been here for ages waiting at a deserted station! Please just bring me to Venlo now before my butt falls off from sitting on these horrible seats!

I like trains
Trains are awesome though. You get to see so many cool things, you don't have to do anything, just sit back and relax and before you know it you're literally on the other side of the country. Trains are the best.

And then I'd finally be in Venlo and I'd forget all about how much my butt hurt, how bored I'd been and how pointless a stop in Blerick is. That's how it's always been with me and trains: I love them, hate them, then love them again. I'll complain about them in public all day, but deep down inside I will always love travelling by train. I honestly can't wait for my next train trip, to Belgium at the end of this month!
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14 Fellow Ramblers

Until this summer my mind would go completely blank whenever I though of Cambodia. It was one of those countries I knew existed, and that was about it. Then I actually went there and my mind was far from blank. My visit lasted only five days. Not enough time to do the country justice, yet enough time to lose myself in Angkor Wat. Enough time to visit the Killing Fields. But by far not enough time to find the right words to describe the Kingdom of Cambodia. So as usual, I'll let my random thoughts take over the post to show what the place is like!

This place smells like fish fingers.

They have Costa here?! We don't even have Costa in the Netherlands!

Cambodian tuktuks look more like rickshaws than tuktuks.

I'm not crossing this street, I'm not crossing this street, I'm not doing it!

Apparently I'm staying on the edge of the red light district...

I'm not walking across a terrace full of scary-looking prostitutes, I'm not walking across a terrace full of scary-looking prostitutes, I'm not doing it!

A naked toddler is waving at me in the middle of Cambodia's capital. Guess I'll just wave back?


These skulls can't be real. It can't be. I'm going to be sick in the middle of the Killing Fields...

Tuktuks make everything better.

I do not trust all these pigeons at the Royal Palace.

Phnom Penh has a better skyline than Rotterdam!

Why is that baby on the bus always crying? Feed it! Let is sleep!

I want to climb a palm tree.

No I do not need pants to visit Angkor Wat! I am wearing pants already and they're fine pants. Look at them. Those are good pants!

Apparently my pants are too short for Angkor Wat...


Okay, I'll buy pants. I like these ones. They feel like I'm wearing a diaper.

I get the urge to pull my pants up a little and flash Buddha with my knees...

Cambodia smells so bad.

This is officially the smelliest country I've visited so far. In my life.

Getting into Cambodia? Easy. Getting out of Cambodia? Torture! Lines from here to hell! Cambodian stench! Unclear instructions! Am I in Cambodia now or back in Thailand already? I don't know anymore!

Five short days made me realize Cambodia smells bad. That I'm uncomfortable in red-light districts. But most important of all: I realized that one day I'll have to go back to Cambodia, because there is still so much more to see!

x Envy
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8 Fellow Ramblers

So... you want to visit Angkor Wat? Well, I can't blame you. The endless abandoned temple complexes in the Cambodian jungle near Siem Reap are on the UNESCO World Heritage List with good reason. But. There's always a but: visiting is not as easy as it sounds. In fact, it can be freaking difficult. That's why I'm taking you on a virtual trip to Cambodia today. Let me tell you how you can survive a visit to Angkor Wat!


Disclaimer: all advice is based on personal experiences and mistakes. Mostly mistakes though. Circumstances might be different for you in real life (especially when it comes to pants).

Step 1: Claim a tuktuk guy
Are you ready? You are? Awesome! Let's make sure we can actually get there tomorrow, because Angkor is a couple of miles away from Siem Reap and the distances between the abandoned temples aren't small either. Let's go outside and claim a tuktuk guy. If we haggle a little he'll drive us around all day for a good price. Shall we let him pick us up at the guest house at 8.30am? We could try to go around 5am for sunrise over Angkor Wat, but it'll be overcrowded and I don't like people. Especially not early in the morning when I'm still cranky. Besides, it'll be easier to quickly get a ticket if we go later in the morning. So, 8.30am it is? Deal.



Step 2: Wear pants
Our tuktuk guy is here! You're wearing pants, right? They won't let you in if you aren't. Go put some pants on and let's go!
...
Uhm... Hate to break it to you, but... Those shorts you're wearing? Those are not the right pants. See that security guy glaring at you? It's because your knees aren't covered. I know, I know, they should've told us half an hour ago when we were still waiting in line to get our tickets, but for some reason they prefer to tell you once you're at the first abandoned temple. Now you're not allowed to go inside any of the temples with those shorts. Lucky for you there are stalls with clothes everywhere just outside the temple complexes to sell pants to tourists like us. Let's go get you some temple-proof, knee-covering pants!



Step 3: Don't let them guilt trip you
Great, you've got pants! Now don't let the vendors guilt trip you into buying anything else if you don't want to. Focus on the cute little monkeys running around instead. These vendors will be everywhere, near the entrance of every ancient temple we're going to visit. I mean, they call this place Angkor Wat, but that's actually just one of the many temples here. Of course every temple has its own name, but they're quite complicated and hard to remember. And the entrance of every single one of those temples will be crowded with vendors literally grabbing you by the arm in an attempt to sell you something. I know it's uncomfortable, but once you're through the temple gate there won't be anyone yelling at you to by a shirt, to let's get going.



Step 4: Don't step on the stinky fruit
You smell that? The alcohol, I mean? That's fermenting fruit on the ground. Nothing to worry about. Unless you step on it. Seriously, don't step on it. It'll stick to your shoes and then it'll get stuck to the ground again and you'll have to pry your shoe loose. Last time I almost lost my flip flops to those stinky bastards. Don't be like me and kill your flip flops by accidentally stepping on that stuff.



Step 5: Bring enough money (and by that I mean US dollars)
I'm getting hungry and I only have 100 riels, which are worthless even in their own country... Everything is priced in dollars here anyway. Did you bring any? 10 dollars? Shit, we're doomed. You can't exchange money here anywhere, unless you like to get screwed over sideways. Let's see if the food trucks have any decent budget meals. A hot dog and a can of Coke for three dollars is not that bad. Let's have that. We'll figure out a way to pay the tuktuk guy later...


Step 6: Enjoy Angkor Wat
You made it! You've got the right, pants, didn't get guilt tripped, didn't get stuck in the stinky fruit and had a good meal! Now we can fully enjoy this amazing place without having to worry about anything. You'll love it here, it's a mesmerizing place. There are so many old and abandoned temples here in the Angkor area. Bayon, Angkor Thom... It's amazing to see all these places in the middle of the jungle. You don't even know they're there until you're right in front of them, surrounded by beautiful architecture and ancient reliefs, some half covered in plants and trees. They're all beautiful, these temples, but Angkor Wat is the most famous of course. Do you want to climb to the top? The stairs are vertigo-inducing, but the view is worth it. We won't have to stand in line for long; it's usually quiet this time of the day. Let's see all Angkor has to offer.


So, I hope you liked our virtual day out to Angkor. Let's end it with a virtual glass of sugarcane juice. My treat, they sell it everywhere near the bridge to Angkor Wat. You should try it, it's delicious. I guess it's time to take the tuktuk back to Siem Reap and say goodbye. I hope we'll get to travel again soon!

x Envy
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Envy. Dutch blogger. Est. 1996. No relation to the famous biblical sin. Worst bio writer on this side of the blogospere. Lives on cookies, apple juice and art. Friendly unless confronted with pineapple on pizza. Writes new nonsense every Thursday.

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