Latin is for Perverts

by - 6:06 PM

School started again. Biology, history, maths, all my classes started from the point where we'd left them last year.
Latin was no exception. Though we had a rough start in this case. Not because we weren't able to translate apoem, but because of the content of the poem...

Translating Latin is one of my many, many useless talents. I look at a text like it's a riddle I've got to solve. That's the only way to make Latin fun, since most Roman writers are narcistic as hell or long-winded. Or in some special cases, they're just perverts.
In December, just before the Christmas vacation, we started translating poems by a poet called Catullus. I disliked the poems, because the first one was about a little bird and how awesome that bird was. The second one was about the same little bird and was all whiney because 'Oh no, my beloved bird is dead!'
And then we saw the glossary for the third poem. Let's just say that it's down right awkward to translate a poem about a man who's planning on having oral sex with 200 men at the same time. It's even more awkward when you make a mistake and your poem suddenly is about a man with 200 dicks...

After laughing your ass off (and feeling like you've written a porn) the shame kicks in and you realize that you have to learn this poem for your finals. I'm okay with dirty poems and jokes, my friends make them all the time. But when you have to learn a poem written by some kind of rapist, then it suddenly becomes more than awkward, it becomes inappropriate.

According to my Latin teacher, who apparently thinks these poems aren't inappropriate whatsoever, the worst was still to come. I didn't believe him. Until today.
Classes started again and I decided to take a look at the next poem. I translated the first line and... well, it wasn't pretty...
Conclusion: Latin is for perverts. And since my class is full of perverts, the next couple of lessons will be the most awkward lessons in the history of Latin.

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2 Fellow Ramblers

  1. Here I was thinking that Latin had all of the stuffy, upperclass poetry. My class are also fairly perverse - many of the parents are die-hard Catholics, so I guess they're letting out as much perversion as they can whilst out of the house.

    To answer the question you asked me on my last comment (I have too much time on my hands, lol), I found polders very interesting. We mainly just watched tours of the polder landscape, which was a break from regular learning, and learned random facts.

    Great post again, it brought a smile to my face!

    1. A lot of people think that Latin is serious and, as you call it, upperclass. But when you start reading real literature, you discover lots and lots of disgusting sentences.
      The perversion in my class is now reserved for the Latin lessons. I don't know what's worse, hearing disgusting comments all day long, or enough of those comments for the entire month within one hour...


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