The Freshmen Four

by - 10:05 AM

Dear freshmen,
Welcome to your new school! Must be exciting, after eight years of elementary school, to be in this huge building full of frightening older kids. But don't worry, you've come this far already, you'll get past all the other problems too. Within a few weeks, you'll start noticing the chewing gum under the tables, the outdated posters and annoying older students.
As long as you don't touch the chewing gum you'll be fine. And those outdated posters can easily be ignored. But the older students... I'm afraid you'll have to learn to live with those for the next couple of years. But now that you're a freshman, they'll all act as if you're an unworthy piece of **** in the worst case or ignore you in the best.
Okay, high school doesn't sound like much fun anymore now, does it?
No worries, Envy is here to help you. Just five years ago, I was a freshman of the most helpless kind. I learned the rules of high school quickly and now tha I'm a senior, I feel like it's time to pass my 'knowledge' one. Here are my four tips for surviving freshmen year!

#1: Think before you talk

Everyone says stupid things; it's in our nature. But remember that you're a freshman: everything you say can and will be used against you. So at least try to think before you talk.
A few years ago I was walking through the A-hall of my school (every hall's got a different letter, classrooms are numbered A1, A2 etc.). There was a freshman standing in front of classroom A10. He was on the edge of a panick attack and screamed to his friends: 'Guys, we're going to be late if we don't find classroom A10 real quick! Hurry, we've got to find it!'
I understand that you don't want to walk around with a map of the school in your hands, but looking around won't hurt you. Don't scream that you can't find your classroom if you're right in front of it. Using your eyes can save you from emberrasment.

#2: Learn the hallway rules

Don't run. Don't walk headfirst into another group of students. Don't play tag in the hallways.
They're unwritten laws. Learn them quick and avoid drowning in a stream of hyperactive juniors. Besides, nothing is more annoying than accidentaly dropping your sandwich on the floor because a freshman wanted to play tag and bumped into you.
Nobody likes losing their sandwich because you guys miss playtime.
(Yes, this is a case of sour grapes. Way too many of my sandwiches have met the floor because of these kids).

#3: Respect your elders

What annoys older students most about freshmen is that they're everywhere. Bouncing up and down the stairs, running through the school hall, having lunch in front of lockers...
Blocking the hallway with a group of ten is another definite no-go. But if you really want to cause a traffic jam, make sure there's still enough room skinny seniors to squeeze through so they can reach their classrooms. If you don't step aside and an older student is having a bad day, they'll knock you over like a bowling pin. Be the better person of the two and step aside.
At the lockers you'll find yourself in a similar situation. Even if you're too big to be stuffed into a locker, it's a good idea to avoid irritation with the senior whose locker's above yours. Take a small step aside and both of you will be able to reach into your locker at the same time. Besides, if you're nice to your 'neighbors', there's a fair chance of becoming friends with them. That's how my friendship with V. started when we were freshmen, so don't tell me this doesn't work (unless your neighbor is an asshole; in that case it's okay to annoy them).

#4: Keep your head up

The most important thing I've got to say: don't let them bring you down. Always remember that those mean seniors were once frightened freshmen too. The ones that call you names have been picked on the most in their freshmen year. The ones that call you dwarves are probably the smallest in their year. In the past I used to say at least ten times a year that the new freshmen are so small (I'm 5'6" and a bit), whereas T. (who's at least 6'6") syas it maybe once or twice. So ignore these remarks and you'll be fine ;)

Good luck with your freshmen year! Believe me, it won't be that bad. It's going to be awesome, but over before you've fully realized it has begun.
And when you come back next year, remember to be nice to the new freshmen. You know how hard it can be to be in their shoes.

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