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Lost in Translation


Back when I was doing a German teacher training program in college, I managed to convince a teacher to let my class go to Düsseldorf "to practice our German with native speakers". In reality, I just wanted to see a city I'd heard a lot about. Sadly, college canceled the trip less than a week before we'd leave. I was furious. My classmates and I had made an entire program, which included a visit to the Kiefernstraße. This street in a residential area of Düsseldorf is said to be home to the longest graffiti wall in the world. Street art was calling my name, and I couldn't answer. Saying I was furious about the whole thing became an understatement.


Exactly a year later, in the Spring of 2018, I was able to buy cheap train tickets to Düsseldorf. I spent my birthday there, exploring the historical city center, climbing the Rheinturm, doing what tourists do. The next day, my boyfriend and I went out to do what I'd actually come to Düsseldorf for: we visited the Kiefernstraße.

After a day in the city center, walking to the Kiefernstraße was like a breath of fresh air. It took us about 20 minutes to walk from the train station to the street full of street art, with Google Maps leading the way. It was July 18th, a sunny day in the middle of 2018's everlasting heatwave, but still the walk was pleasant. As I spotted the first pieces of street art from afar, I felt that familiar rush that comes with entering the domain of this creative subculture. We approached from the Fichtestraße, a regular street that in no way prepared us for what was to come. We turned the corner and suddenly found ourselves in the most colorful street I'd seen in ages. It was awesome.


The street was still mostly quiet and almost deserted early that morning, but the sunlight on the brightly colored walls made the Kiefernstraße feel so alive. I couldn't decide where to look first. There was so much to see, so much art to capture on camera. These houses were telling me a story with their art, but not just about the art itself. Back in the 80s, the apartments of the Kiefernstraße were mostly vacant, even though affordable housing in Düsseldorf was hard to come by. As a result, squatters moved in. They started painting the houses, giving the Kiefernstraße its alternative reputation. Some of the original group of squatters still live in the apartments with uneven numbers.


A part of the street's history that its art doesn't show is a lot darker: it was linked to the terrorist group called Red Army Fraction. The 80s were an interesting time for the Kiefernstraße, as a member of the RAF was arrested along with two residents of the street. Police raids followed and the Kiefernstraße suddenly became the center of terrorism in West Germany.
These days the street is just part of a nice residential area, albeit a very alternative one. I felt right at home. The street is about 400 meters long and there's something new to discover on every single one of these meters. Among my favorite murals were a Buddha and a Chinese dragon, but there's also a gigantic crossword, a saloon and an ocean to spot. Even Jesus with a little lamb can be found in the alternative universe of the Kiefernstraße.


Although it was still early when we wandered the street, we weren't the only ones with cameras there. I got to practice my German, as the Kiefernstraße is one of those places where everyone with a camera is some kind of internet-dweller who's up for a chat. I even got to pose with a bag in front of Jesus for the owner of a small business. In those moments on the Kiefernstraße, I felt at peace with myself and the world. More than that: I was happy. The sun was shining, the art was beautiful, what more could I wish for?


Around noon, my boyfriend and I left the Kiefernstraße behind. We still had to walk back to the train station and catch the train back home, so spending the entire day there wasn't an option. My thoughts stayed on the street though: for the longest time I could only think of art. Düsseldorf hadn't been all that nice to me on my birthday, but the Kiefernstraße made up for that. If you ever find yourself doubting what you're doing in this German city, go search for its street art. The Kiefernstraße will make you feel at home right away.

x Envy
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Back in June, I was extremely excited to visit Jordan. It was the first Islamic country I ever visited. which made the whole thing extra special to me. Reading about Islam and talking about the religion with Kanra from The Lunar Descent is interesting, but experiencing it first-hand was something I'd been looking forward to for a long time. On top of that, Jordan has amazing Roman roots, some pretty cool street art, Wadi Rum and of course, Petra. Follow me on my trip through this Middle Eastern kingdom in this post with my random thoughts about the country!

I already like the Jordanian tour guide better than the one in Israel, though this bus smells a lot weirder than the Israeli bus,

Yay, I finally get to visit a mosque!


I have to be honest here. I understand I have to cover my hair and limbs, but this dress-like thingy makes me feel like a penguin.

Putting a hijab on without a mirror is hard!

This mosque is beautiful. And the carpet is so soft!

Of course I manage to step into a puddle with my clean socks...

Amman has some huge flags. Like, gigantic.


I'm in love with the Roman citadel. My Latin teacher would be so proud if he could see me here now.

I wonder if Jesus has been on this hill though. "Ey, Douwe, d'you think Jesus visited this place?"

Whoa, the street art here is so cool. I should start working on my own designs again when I get home.


Why is everyone in this group walking so slowly? I want to get out of this souq asap, please.

Madaba looks like there's nothing to do. The place where tourists stay just because it's cheaper than Amman.

There's a western supermarket only 20 minutes away! Can't wait to see price tags and not get ripped off.

Why are all these people staring at me? It's nice that they yell "Welcome to Jordan" instead of obscenities, but it makes me uncomfortable nonetheless.

This supermarket trip was a mistake... I've never been this happy to go back to my hotel.

A mountain where Moses was, not Jesus! It does have a very different vibe indeed.


Is that Japanese guy really telling us about his daughter's diarrhea? Poor girl...

I can see why they call this place the Grand Canyon of Jordan.

I know the King's Highway is supposed to be amazing and all, but if I don't close my eyes now I'll be sick all over this already smelly bus.

I'm gonna be sick, I'm gonna be so sick...

My carsickness made me miss out on an army party with camels and flags...

I hope I won't throw up in front of Petra's Treasury tonight.

There are dogs fighting in front of the entrance to Petra Archeological Park and I don't like it one bit.

This is awesome. The way is lit by candles, stars up above... This is beautiful.

No point in taking pictures in this darkness, sadly.

I wonder how long this walk is going to last. I would be a great route for a race though.

Oh my god! The Treasury!


Oh shit, one of the lanterns is on fire. Please don't spread, please don't spread, please don't spread.

Petra by night is magical. I can't wait to see it by day.

Petra is so much bigger than I thought! So much to see, so much to explore!

I wish my dad was here with me. He would have loved this. I miss him...

The Monastery is amazing. It's all amazing. I'm so lucky to be here.


I really want to go to the viewpoint and I think we got a good price for the guide, but this part of the park is prohibited... Why are we doing this?

I'm gonna die. We're all gonna die.

Thank god. I'm alive. I guess. But this view is definitely worth it!


I wish I could stay here longer. A day, maybe two...

I can't wait to spend a night at a desert camp in Wadi Rum, camping underneath the stars!

This... is not what I expected. The music's too loud, there's too much light to see the stars... I want to go home.

At least the desert is quiet and beautiful by day, though the plastic pollution near the camp is horrible.

That's the arch from all the travel brochures! I have to climb it. I HAVE TO.


Did we really have to return to Madaba?

Why is there a toilet bowl in this open basement?

The Roman city of Jerash is beautiful and all... but nothing can beat Petra. I guess it's time to go home.

And so, the day after I visited Jerash, I returned home. My time in Jordan was one of big highs and few but painful lows. It was a whole new experience, one I wouldn't have wanted to miss. Jordan is still relatively unknown as a destination and the locals would love it if more tourists came to visit their country. They are are welcoming and friendly (except in some parts of Madaba) and their country has more to offer than you'd think. Take it from me: Jordan is the place to go to if you want to safely experience the Middle East!

x Envy
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The past few weekends saw me staring at the blank pages of my blogging notebook. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fill them with words about street art, comic books or upcoming trips abroad. I realized there was only one thing I wanted to write about: my experiences at university. I've hesitated multiple times, put my pen down countless times, told myself it's not interesting for the audience every single day. But hey, my blog, my rules. We're gonna talk about that student life of mine.

As you might know, I started studying English Language and Culture at Utrecht University after an involunaty gap year. I spent most of my time in the first few weeks worrying if I'd be smart enough to pass my classes, if I wasn't too lazy. Now, after the first out of four blocks is disappearing in the rearview mirror rapidly, I can confidently say that I am capable of dealing with whatever information university throws at me.

I took three classes this first block: literature, linguistics and German. I passed all three with flying colors. Linguistics is a bit of a touchy subject for me though, because my teacher accused me of plagiarism. He also said I have an obvious Dutch accent (apparently those Americans in Jordan didn't think I was American, they were just dumb?), but I've already upgraded my accent to "passable" without changing a single thing about my pronunciation. Apart from that, I've been told my way of speaking is unnatural and unpleasant for my audience. Thanks mate.

Despite my "problems" with linguistics, I'm not extremely worried about academics anymore. I'm currently in the fourth week of block 2, in which I'm taking three classes again. So far, everything is going fine. It's quite different from block 1: I'm now wisdom toothless and actually know my way around Utrecht. Every Friday I rent a bike to race through the city center on my way to class. I'm enjoying every day in university, though I'm aware of the challenges ahead. I've been playing with the idea of doing a double bachelor (English/German), but I'm not entirely sure about that. My tutor says it's impressive that I'm already thinking about doing the double and taking extra classes; she has no idea I've studied German for three years, so getting that double bachelor wouldn't be very difficult for me.

The biggest challenge I'll face in the near-distant future is boredom. Even though I'm already taking an extra class, I'm bored out of my mind. Sometimes I think I could have done this entire course in half of the time if I'd been allowed to work at my own pace. Since I'm stuck at this snail's pace, I'm looking for other things to do. One of them is blogging. I haven't paid as much attention to this place in 2018 as I would have wanted, but that actually gave me time to think about what I really want. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not above rambly posts like this one, or pictures that aren't perfect. Over the past couple of years, blogging has gone from a hobby to a desirable career for many people. I'll be the first to admit that I'd like to make money doing what I love, but if that means I can't ramble anymore, I'm out. University has given me the chance to spend more time doing things I like and I don't want to start hating the things I like because I turned them into a competition.

Anyway, I have a bunch of sonnets to read. I don't know about you, but for me it was quite refreshing to write a life update the way every blogger ran their online space back in 2013. I might make this a thing. Or, you know, disappear again for a month or so, because that's what I've been doing all year. That's a joke. I'm actually working on a lot of writing projects at the moment. My Instagram feed is coming along nicely as well. So watch this space. There's some interesting stuff up ahead.
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I consider myself lucky enough to have learned Latin in high school. I know that most who give the language a try find it a pain in the butt, but I always found it a walk in the park. At some point I joked I must have Roman blood in my veins, because I was so quick to translate anything.
Although my Latin classes are now far behind me, I still love anything Roman. You can imagine how happy I was in Israel when I saw Roman ruin after Roman ruin. I noticed I still knew 90% of the historical facts I'd once learned, but as I crossed the border into Jordan, I  found a major gap in my knowledge: the Romans had been all over this country too and I didn't, couldn't, wouldn't believe it until I saw it with my own eyes. Then, when I did, it was like Christmas had come early.


My Roman adventures started in Jordan's capital Amman, which was known as Philadelphia in Roman times. On a hill in the middle of the sprawling city that is home to millions today, you can find the Citadel. I've got to be honest and say that there is not a whole lot left of the Roman ruins, but the tall columns of the Temple of Hercules are iconic for Amman. Spread out over the top of the hill are other ruins from the city's Persian, Byzantine and Umayyad period, as well as bits and pieces of statues. I was constantly walking away from my tour group to check out a new piece of history. I ended up almost losing the group entirely, as they marched on diligently while I was busy taking pictures of everything and anything on the top of the hill as well as the view. The view of the city is something you don't want to miss. There's street art to be spotted, and a gorgeous theatre from the Roman days right in the middle of all the modern buildings.


Although Amman's Roman roots are a great place to start, Jerash is where the magic happens. I visited the city on my last day in Jordan, after spending time in Petra and Wadi Rum, so I was quite exhausted by the time I walked through the ancient gate. The atmosphere made me forget my exhaustion right away though. I felt like I was in high school again. Back in 2013, I visited Pompeii with my Latin class, but visiting Jerash was even better (probably because it doesn't have a history of a ton of people dying thanks to an exploding volcano).


Pompeii had the 'advantage' of getting buried underneath a big layer of ash and other debris that kept it well-preserved. That was not the case with Jerash. In fact, a lot of it was destroyed by an earthquake in the 8th century. Later on some of the buildings played a role in the crusades and then the place fades out of history to be discovered by some German guy in the 19th century. It was mostly intact then, which it still is to this day. Sure, some buildings have caved in, but its mostly the roofs of places that are gone. The gates are still as beautiful as ever, the theatres are still there, the temples look amazing and the colonnaded street is the most impressive piece of Roman architecture I've seen in ages, for the simple fact that these relatively fragile columns are still standing upright after 2000 years.


I walked through Jerash with my tour guide and the group I'd been traveling with for the past 11 days. I wasn't paying attention to what our tour guide was telling though. I needed half of my brain to focus on the huge cobblestones that made up the pavement, so I wouldn't break my ankles on them. The other half of my brain was busy daydreaming about Roman legions, gladiators and gods. I felt like I wasn't living in my own century anymore. It was almost like I could hear Latin whispers, like I could see people in long tunics and stolas scurry past me in the corner of my eyes. I felt right at home in Jerash. 


If I hadn't been completely drained, I could have spent days exploring all the Roman temples and buildings. Sadly my legs felt like they couldn't carry my weight much longer when the tour guide said we could walk around on our own for a while. I stayed at one of the theatres, where the ancient stage was now used for some event celebrating the Jordanian royal family. For some reason, there was also a Jordanian man playing the bagpipe. He was playing it badly, but enthusiastically, and I couldn't help but smile. After my visit to Petra, it was difficult to impress me, but I loved Jerash. In an ideal scenario, I would have visited this place before moving on to Petra, which is hard to top. But as I'd booked an organized trip through Israel and Jordan, that decision was out of my hands. Still, Jerash was a perfect place to end my adventures in the Middle East. It was calm, quiet and impressive. My inner Latin student hadn't been this happy in years and as I left the gates of Jerash behind, I felt like I'd found a long-lost piece of myself back.

x Envy
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On a warm night in June, I was on a bus that would bring me to Wadi Rum, Jordan. I was excited to see this famous desert. In my mind, I already saw myself roasting marshmallows over a campfire, talking with others from my tour group till midnight. It would be the perfect end to a perfect day, which I'd spent exploring Petra and climbing to an illegal viewpoint. I couldn't wait to sit back and relax under an endless starry night sky.

When we arrived at our camp in Wadi Rum, I immediately knew that this was not going to be anything like the campgrounds I stayed at in the Australian Outback. Even though our travel brochure said we'd be staying in tents, we were housed in concrete housing blocks. Every apartment had a big bed and a bathroom. Nothing wrong with that, but when you're looking forward to camping underneath the stars, you don't want to spend the night in something that resembles a house this much. The adrenaline rush from climbing to Petra's illegal viewpoint disappeared the second I entered my room. I threw my luggage on one of the beds, threw myself on the other. I couldn't help but wonder what my time in Wadi Rum would look like after this disappointing start.


By the time I left my room again for dinner at the central pavilion, it was dark outside. Dark, but still there was no star to be seen. For some reason, the camp owners had put colored spotlights everywhere. Bright beams shot up at the sky. Light pollution made it impossible to see a single star, let alone the entire Milky Way. I sighed as I trudged through the sand. Loud music was playing at the pavilion and we'd barely finished dinner when a few Jordanian men invited everyone to come and dance. I felt like I was forced to enjoy an animation team's efforts as if I was on an all-inclusive holiday in Turkey. It was uncomfortable. All I wanted was to go to some quiet place and enjoy the desert's beauty. Instead, I was stuck in this overly commercialized camp. My friends in the group decided to leave the camp behind in search for stars, but I didn't go. There were dance parties all over the desert, as well as stray dogs. I like neither. I went to my room, wanting to be alone, but the thumping bass of the loud music that was played at the pavilion made it impossible for me to enjoy some quiet alone time. What was I doing here? I asked myself. How did I end up at this party camp? This was not what I wanted...

I cried that night, alone in my room. It was the only time I cried on that trip through Israel and Jordan and it didn't last very long, but it did make me realize this aspect of Wadi Rum really wasn't for me. I sat on the porch of my concrete box for a while after I'd stopped crying. Other members of our group came up to me to talk. Apparently I wasn't the only one who wasn't a fan of this 'camping trip in the desert'. I could only hope things would get better the next day, with a jeep safari planned, 

A good night's rest hadn't affected my opinion on Wadi Rum much. I spent as much time alone as possible before our jeep safari started. When it was time to leave, I climbed into the back of one of the jeeps, which turned out to be the slowest jeep I'd ever seen. We were the very last to arrive anywhere and I quickly got annoyed with our lack of speed and especially how close we were staying to civilization. The desert itself wasn't very impressive. I was told it once served as the set for Star Wars scenes, but these days it's more fit for a postapocalyptic or dystopian franchise due to the heavy plastic pollution. The highlight of this jeep safari was driving down a single sand dune. All of it was anticlimactic.


The turning point came when our group was split into two. Half went back to the camp, the other half had paid for an extended jeep safari. I was one of those who'd paid extra and that save my entire Wadi Rum experience.
I continued the safari in a faster car with a driver who understood our need for some action. He'd fall behind on the other jeeps, then slow down until my friend gave him what we called the 'speed sign'. The driver would floor it, race through the desert while I stood upright in the back of his jeep, basically tormenting the gods. The wind would tug at my hair and I'd scream for joy every time the driver swerved or flew over a minor bump in the road.

It wasn't just the increased speed that made me enjoy Wadi Rum more though. The extended safari led us further and further away from civilization. Now we got to see the desert's actual beauty, without tons of litter on the ground. We went to places that were indeed otherworldly as some places in the Star Wars franchise. I loved it there and wished I could have seen this part of the region sooner. 
Eventually the jeeps stopped near an arch. I was baffled. This wasn't just any arch, but the one you see in every single travel brochure for Jordan. I was over the moon that I actually got to see it in real life. And it got even better: I was allowed to climb it. After my little adventure in Petra, this was a piece of cake. Sitting on that arch, looking out over the desert, I felt truly blessed for getting the chance to be there.


The trip ended after a visit to another arch (which I also climbed, of course) and a visit to an ancient water well. I noticed that I didn't mind the disappointment that the previous night had been anymore, now that I'd gotten to see the desert the way I wanted to see it. We took a different route back to the camp and saw gorgeous rock formations along the way. We gave the driver the speed sign multiple times, each time enjoying it more and more. In the end, I accepted Wadi Rum for what it was: a polluted desert with too many parties to my taste. But Wadi Rum is also what you make of it: it's about climbing arches, exploring an alien world by jeep. A change in accommodation would have solved most of my issues, I now know. So no, my visit to Wadi Rum wasn't a waste of time. It was a lesson learned.

x Envy
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Envy. Dutch blogger. Est. 1996. No relation to the famous biblical sin. Worst bio writer on this side of the blogospere. Lives on cookies, apple juice and art. Friendly unless confronted with pineapple on pizza. Writes new nonsense every Thursday.

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