10 Thoughts While Drinking Coffee

by - 3:00 PM


Believe it or not, but I made it to the ripe old age of 20 without ever drinking a cup of coffee. The reason for this was simple: every time I tasted the stuff, I gagged, made myself a cup of tea instead, then felt guilty for cheating on tea, one of the loves of my life.
However, not too long ago I decided I wanted to give coffee a second chance. After all, everyone and everything deserve a second chance. Or in this case a third chance. And a fourth. And a fifth... So one day in Antwerp I ordered a cup of coffee. Okay, it wasn't entirely voluntary, but I was too curious to let the opportunity slide. Here's what I thought while trying to drink a cup of coffee for the first time. Spoiler: it didn't go too well...

Why doesn't this place sell hot chocolate?
Look, I understand that this place is Instagrammable. And I know that it has free wifi, which is a basic need for a millennial like me. I've also heard that coffee is a basic need too, but I beg to differ. I need some hot chocolate in my system. Why doesn't this place have hot chocolate. I swear I'll deduct brownie points for not having hot chocolate!

Indian Summer sounds interesting
Okay, so no hot chocolate. I guess this coffee drinking thing really is going to happen. But why all the weird and fancy names? Can't I just have coffee. Coffee coffee, no weirdness? I mean, what the eff is Indian Summer supposed to be? Okay it actually sounds exactly pretentious enough for me to order and exactly neutral enough not to send my tongue to its early death. I guess I'll give it a shot then.

Why is that cup bigger than my head?
This thing is huge! Like, huge huge! How is this coffee for one person? I swear a whole Indian village could drink from this cup! Bad Envy, that wasn't even a coffee pun, it was just bad. Just drink the damn stuff already, okay?

This is the most aesthetically pleasing place I've been to in ages
No I'm not avoiding drinking coffee at all by looking at the options for fancy Instagram posts. But look at this place, it's so cute and charming and all the other nice English adjectives I usually replace with 'awesome'! Except for that staircase. I do not like that much, even though it looks good in a picture. And I'm definitely not putting this whole drinking coffee thing off now by taking pictures. Nah ah. Absolutely not.


Shit, my whipped cream is starting to drip
Oh no, oh no, this is not good. Especially not considering that whipped cream is probably going to be the best part of this whole thing. Don't drip, please don't drip!
I'm getting a huge deja vu from that second date when I dumped a load of whipped cream in my hot chocolate and the stuff ended up everywhere. Why don't I learn from my mistakes?

Shit shit shit shit SHIT
So apparently yelling 'Don't drip!' doesn't stop whipped cream from dripping down the side of my cup. What do I do now? I need help...

Okay, crisis averted
I'll admit it, I don't look particularly charming licking the side of my cup, but at least the whipped cream isn't dripping anymore. I'm the best at crisis management. Not the best at drinking coffee, but I'll get to that later. I mean, who would even think of drinking coffee when you have a calamity such as dripping whipped cream on your hands?

Whipped cream is the best
You know, after crisis management has been completed, the most important thing is to make sure the crisis won't occur again in the foreseeable future. So it'd be wise for me to eat all the whipped cream now. Not just because it's extremely tasty and I'm scared to taste coffee. No, that has nothing to do with it. Just me being sensible, that's all.

OMG this stuff is bitter
Okay, I can't avoid drinking it any longer, which I totally wasn't doing by the way. I was just mentally preparing for the big moment. Trying coffee in three... two... one point five... one...
.
.
.
Why did I try this? Why did I think this was a good idea? This is not okay! NOT OKAY!

OMG this stuff is the best
But, wait. What is this? They always say stuff gets better and then it doesn't and I'm all disappointed, but... it's true for coffee? Let me try again. This is definitely getting better. And better. Oh my god this stuff is great. I apologize to all the coffee gods in the coffee heaven above for my blasphemous thoughts throughout the years. I can get used to this. Coffee is great. As long as I don't have to crisis manage whipped cream every time I drink it.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I met coffee. Since then, we've decided to take it slow. Slow meaning that we haven't seen each other since, but I'm pretty sure we'll pick things up right where we left them on that February day in Antwerp. How's your relationship with coffee? Don't be shy, it can't be worse than mine!

x Envy

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26 Fellow Ramblers

  1. I tried coffee once after pulling an all-nighter working, dumped about five spoonfuls of sugar in it, and still only got through about half the cup. It was easier to make tea and just go back to bed. :D

    www.thelittleenigma.blogspot.co.uk
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    1. Hahaha I so would've done the same. If I ever decide to pull an all-nighter I'll just get some Red Bull instead of coffee for some cafeine!

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  2. that was a wild ride. lol. I love it

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    1. Thanks! It was a daunting experience :P

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  3. What an experience! Never forget my first cup. Shared with my high school bestie on a camp. Think it contained more milk and sugar than coffee 😜

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    1. That sounds like a great first experience, hahaha. There's a thing about first times that makes them memorable, even if it's something silly like a cup of coffee.

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  4. Love the style of this post! I've never been a coffee lover, I have tried it a couple of times but hated it and I can't stand the smell or taste of it. I'm not a tea drinker either to be honest, I'm much more of hot chocolate person.

    Abbie • overpeachchic.com

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    1. Thank you! I've been Team Tea for as long as I can remember, though hot chocolate is a close second.

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  5. Haha I loved this! I too am a hot chocolate girl all around and despise coffee. I love herbal teas too but I much like you currently cringe at the taste :( I hope one day I will begin to like it as you have!

    sophieannetaylor.com

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    1. Thank you so much! Hot chocolate is just the best, especially when it's really cold outside. Tea is my go-to hot beverage though.

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  6. COFFEE IS THE BEsT!
    Not all coffee is particularly bitter tho :).

    So well written babe!

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    1. Thank you!
      You need to show me the coffee that's not bitter when we meet up, cause now I'm curious! I'll start looking for Instagrammable coffee place in Eindhoven ;)

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  7. Gah. I wish I liked coffee. I can drink it sometimes, but I can't drink it regularly. Whenever I do, I end up feeling sick too. This was such a fun post to ready though! That cafe is indeed aesthetically pleasing. You better have taken so many pictures! xx

    Breann Catharina
    toocuteforlife.com

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    1. As an almost teacher I feel like I have to like coffee, but like you I can't drink it regularly. I don't feel sick afterwards, I just don't enjoy it as much as tea. The thing I like most about coffee is that you can get it in cute coffeeshops, so that's the only reason why I keep giving coffee new chances, hahaha.

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  8. Coffee is super bitter. I solve this problem by dumping in tons of sugar and giving myself transient hyperglycemia, but it's cool. I don't drink coffee a lot though because it's a hot drink, I live in a hot place and I already sweat a lot from anxiety xD cold coffee though? I had it once from Starbucks. It was disgusting. 10/10 never going to Starbucks ever again...

    the-emo-wolverine-writes.blogspot.com /

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    1. Dude, you're a doctor, you should be a coffee addict! Yay for stereotypes :P
      Cold coffee is the only type of coffee I will always like, but not the Starbucks one. Starbucks is overrated. You need to get your hands on Australian ice coffee. So good.

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  9. Whipped cream is indeed the best! Couldn't agree more! I don't know if I think much when I drink coffee... or maybe just "oh gosh this is good" ahah xx corinne

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    1. Hahaha I wish I could only think 'oh gosh this is good' when I do something as simple as drinking coffee. For some reason my brain always goes into overdrive on occassions like these.

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  10. I relate to this so much oh god me & coffee are the shakespearean tragedy that met once and never again. had an iced mocha drink and it didn't really agree with me at all. Since then I did try a small sip of coffee from my sister and can still confirm that nope me & coffee are the NOTP that should never get to know one another.

    I feel like the way you described this coffee experience would most likely be me if I ever went to a cafe to try coffee with a slight difference - I would have started with the wiped cream and avoid said coffee until it probably becomes iced coffee hahaha Also wait- no hot chocolate?!? #justiceforhotchocoalte

    -Sahara
    http://saharas-dreams.blogspot.com

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    1. Coffee is that one thing that everyone expects you to like and it just won't do it for me in most cases. If I'd been alone I would've waited until the stuff had become iced coffee too, but peer pressure! My friend just kept waiting for me to take a sip and I caved!
      Also, the lack of hot chocolate in that coffeeshop was outrageous. Unacceptable! We have to make #justiceforhotchocolate a thing now.

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  11. COFFEE! :D
    Gimme black or with milk
    Gimme with sugar or with honey
    Add some Lemon or some ginger
    Add lemon grass or some cardamom
    A cup of Coffee is always beautiful!

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    1. I feel like I'm missing some kind of reference here, but nice piece of poetry? I think we'll just have to agree to disagree when it comes to coffee, it's not always beautiful :P

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  12. I feel like you read my mind, I always order hot chocolate and if that isn't on the menu, it's either a chai tea, or a frappe. Coffee and I are not friends, haha. Love the post though.

    Tajinder | www.musicgeekonline.co.uk

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    1. Hahaha thanks. Coffee is like the last resort. For some reason this place had no chai tea or frappe or anything else on the menu except for coffee!

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  13. Oh man this is excellent :)

    I still remember my first coffee. I was home alone one night when I was 14 in a fan-fic-induced mania I decided to drink coffee because all of the characters were. It was gross. I was awake all night.

    I'd rather take tea any day.

    But since then I have tried it again (multiple times) and went through a phase when I was 15 of wearing berets and reading literary fiction and drinking espressos in chic cafes. Now I only have seasonal coffee, like gingerbread lattes in winter and hazelnut lattes spring/autumn.

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    1. Oh my god that sounds like a horrible first coffee experience! Cafeine always messes with me too. I already have trouble falling asleep but after drinking coffee I can just keep going and going and going.
      I have no way of getting my hands on seasonal coffee, but those flavours always sound amazing.

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