10 Thoughts While Trying to Make Smoothies

by - 3:00 PM

There are many things I'm not good at. Handling food is one of them. Eating fruit is another one. Smoothies seem to combine these two skills in a way that makes me question why I ever thought making smoothies was a good idea in the first place. Anyway, once I got the idea into my head, it had to happen. I was going to try and make some banana smoothies. Which, I soon noticed, came with this jumble of chaotic thoughts.

Is there any way I can eff this recipe up? 
200ml of yogurt, a tablespoon of honey, 1,5 bananas, a little cinnamon and a little milk. Throw it into a bowl, mix it into mush and done? That's idiot-proof! Better yet, it's Envy-proof!

Stop escaping my clumsy fingers you demonic banana!
Okay banana, here's the deal: I'm chopping you up, then throw you into that bowl over there. Do not, I repeat, do not roll away once I've chopped you up. Do not roll away when I try to pick you up. And definitely do not roll off the table and fall onto the floor only to become useless to the entire universe!

Bananas falling on top of yogurt make a disgusting sound.
*Splush*
Ew. It does sound better than a banana falling onto the floor, but... ew.

That sound the mixer is making doesn't sound good
Am I doing something wrong? Why is it making this weird sound? It never does that when I make something else. What is this?! MOOOOOOOOOM! HELP ME!

PUREEEE THE BANANAAAAAS! ALL THE MUSHY MESSSSSS!
So the mixer's okay, which means I can absolutely destroy these bananas and mix all the yogurt and make it into the biggest smoothiest mess the world has ever seen. YASSS.

First thing I do when I move out is buying a blender
This is nice and all, but shouldn't my smoothie remain, like, in the bowl until I'm done? Seriously, there's yogurt on my freaking forehead. That's not good, is it?

Does this work with mango?
Banana is great and stuff, but does this work with other fruits? How about mango? Wait, I don't like mango. It tastes like puke. No wait, that's papaya. I always get the two mixed up. Sooo... mango. Would that work?

It looks so disgusting yet so beautiful
Done. It's a bowl full of masterpiece. A bad-looking masterpiece. But it's the smoothest smoothie I've ever seen. But it looks... disgusting...
I'm gonna drink it anyway.

How am I ever going to get this smoothie into a glass without turning the entire kitchen into a war zone?
So this bowl of puke-like stuff is huge, the glasses in this house are small and I'm probably the clumsiest person on this planet... Should I just pour it? I'm just gonna pour it. Not this quick though! Shit! Now it looks like a war zone anyway...

I'm definitely the Queen of Smoothies
This is actually pretty good. The bit that did end up in the glass, I mean. No wait, this is more than pretty good. This is fantastic. Just as good as those banana smoothies I drank all the time when I was in Costa Rica. And those had better, fresher bananas, which means... I'm the Queen of Smoothies! All hail my superior smoothie making skills!

Since I have decided to be healthy and stuff, I drink smoothies more often now. You'd think my thoughts would change after a while, but let me tell you this: my thoughts are this chaotic every single time!

x Envy

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28 Fellow Ramblers

  1. I loved reading this! It's so well written! Also, mango totally works ;) and I agree with the sound of banana falling on the yoghurt haha! I have a smoothie every morning haha!

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    1. Thank you so much! I still haven't tried mango, the supermarket didn't have them in stock when I went... And oh my god that sound... It doesn't get any less disgusting, no matter how many times you make a banana smoothie, does it?

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  2. I have given up on the idea of making smoothies a long time ago ahah! But yeah, I did have the same thoughts. Banana sounds... you got me there ahah! xx Corinne

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    1. It's funny cause it's true, right? :P I don't want to give up quite yet, but the chaos in the kitchen is unbearable every time I make a smoothie!

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  3. I haven't made a smoothie in ages! But this is hilarious haha x

    http://velvetblogsx.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. Thanks :) Maybe it's time to make one again :)

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  4. I love this haha and I definitely know what you mean about bananas they're so gross and slushy but delicious at the same time.

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    1. I'm glad you liked it! I have a serious love/hate relationship with bananas just because of their texture

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  5. Mango's definitely good with banana! :) I love smoothies, too. My fave mix so far - cucumber, kiwi, banana, green apple, and spinach plus strawberry yogurt and a bit of low fat milk. :)

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    1. I've never tried that combination but I'm so curious. I'm going to give your fave mix a try this summer, But without the kiwi, I'm allergic to them :(

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  6. This post made me laugh out loud at multiple places XD

    Also - I feel like I haven't read your blog in forever, so I don't know how new this is, but - I absolutely adore your new design!! The header is especially gorgeous <3

    Ellie | On the Other Side of Reality

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    1. I'm so glad to hear it made you laugh!
      And thank you! I relaunched on the first of March, my blog was actually offline for two months.

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  7. hahaha, I love posts like these! This would be my thought process if I were to make a smoothie :)

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    1. You know what they say about great minds, right? ;)

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  8. Aww man, this had me laughing so much! It's so accurate!

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  9. Hahaha hilarious. I am always like are you going to behave and let the toppings sit on top of you so I can make you instagrammable! X
    Lola Mia // www.lolitabonita.co.uk

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    1. I don't even try to make it look instagrammable anymore, hahaha. It's just one big mess whenever I make a smoothie!

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  10. Hahaha this is brilliant! I also wonder whether I'm going to totally mess up and turn a heap of delicious fruit into something vile every time I made a smoothie! Fab post, really enjoyed reading and chuckling along!

    Abbey 😘 www.abbeylouisarose.co.uk

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    1. Thank you so much! I get nervous every time I have to cook or bake or make a smoothie. Food shouldn't be wasted but in my hands... Let's just not talk about that XD

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  11. This is great! I can only imagine the thoughts that would go through my mind while making a smoothie. Probably more questions like "Is this enough? Am I doing this right? Did I forget something?" because I'm sure I'd mess up. (:

    Single Vegas Girl
    http://singlevegasgirl.blogspot.com

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    1. Those are the thoughts I should be having in order to make the kitchen not look like a war zone :P Sadly, I'm not focused enough for those thoughts XD

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  12. Brilliant post! This has made me really chuckle!
    Sam xox
    samslifeadventures.wordpress.com

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  13. I can relate to all of these as I am such a smoothie addict lol!

    www.misslaurenmorgan.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Life goal 26: write a relatable blog post. Check! Thank you :D

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I solemnly swear that I am up to no good! Wait, no, I mean: I solemnly swear that I will answer each and every comment ;)