The Dating App Diaries: First Crush

by - 6:50 PM

If I'd been an average Dutch girl I would've had my first kiss six years ago and be in the middle of my first serious long term relationship right now. But I'm not average and will probably remain completely untouched until I'm in my late twenties. This fact is frustrating everyone around me. My family probably thinks I'm a lesbian, stuck so far in the closet that I've almost found Narnia. My friends would marry me off if they could. And I? I have to admit I wouldn't mind getting more attention than a piece of gum on the street for once. Thus I downloaded dating app Happn (which was a trial in itself) and went out looking for... not love, 'cause I didn't have high hopes. Let's keep it at "I went out looking for interesting people".

Even though I know I don't stand much of a chance with the most white Dutch guys, the first person who caught my eye was the perfect Dutch stereotype. Blond, tall, broad smile. Cute.
I hadn't clicked on the Crush button with the little heart on for anyone yet, but after a few very long moments of consideration I gave him my first Happn Crush. A little heart floated away and then an announcement popped up: It's a Crush!
I was in shock. The first guy I liked, liked me too. No one had seen that coming. For a minute or two I was very excited. Then I realized I was going to have to talk to this guy. And talking isn't exactly my strongest point...
I decided to let him do the work. After all he'd liked me first, so he'd probably want to put some effort into it. Or so I thought...

Twenty-four hours passed. No message from the guy. I'd waited long enough and took matters into my own hands with a simple 'hey'. Seconds later he sent me a 'hey' back. Nothing more, nothing less. I then tried making small talk, asked how his day was, if he was in college or if he had a job, all the usual stuff. His answers were short and soon the conversation became dull and felt like a chore.
My spirits fell. This was not I'd expected from my first Crush. I decided to give the conversation one last chance and ask him one last question.
"Mah college" were the first two words of his answer. I immediately lost all interest. How hard could it be to write 'my' instead of 'mah'. Biggest turnoff in texting ever! Every time I see someone do that I want to smack them in the face with a dictionary.
It was time to end this conversation as soon as possible.
'Ok' I sent back, but the guy didn't understand I was done here.
'Wish I graduated sooner'
'Yeah sure'
It's great, great with one T! I wanted to yell it at my phone, but didn't. Instead I went to the guy's profile and quickly unmatched us. I sighed with relief, glad it was over. Maybe dating apps weren't for me at after all.

Half an hour later I opened the app again. Not to talk to the guy who couldn't spell. No, this time someone had sent me a Charm...

To Be Continued...

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12 Fellow Ramblers

  1. aww thats so sad. I relate because Im gonna be 20 and have never had a boyfriend or anything of the sort. most of the time I like it too. and that worries my mom. (she probably thinks Im a lesbian. I fit the stereotype to a T.)
    but hang in there. a guy will come along soon enough. just hang in there <3

    1. We're in the exact same situation it seems! Half of the time I'm fine with being single, the other half of the time it makes me wonder what's wrong with me...
      I'm not getting my hopes up. Dutch guys have a certain type and I'm not that type.

  2. I laughed at you wanting to smack him in the face with a dictionary :D I'm sure you'll find a grammar nerd worth your attention some day!

    I didn't realise how hilarious dating apps were until my roommate decided to join one.. Most of the guys were completely not serious, with deliberately bad photos (or photos of their tractor or their money or their 'bounteous land and crops'), and ridiculous descriptions like " 'Niall is a very nice boy.' - Niall's Mom" or else just something filthy. It was surprisingly entertaining, I imagine some people do meet that way, if you find someone with the same sense of humour as you :X

    Best of luck with your dating, if you don't find anyone, it's because you're too awesome for them :)

    1. Everyone laughs when I say that but I'm actually serious :P People don't need to have perfect grammar, but if they write 'mah', I'm about 110% sure they'll annoy me to no end for the rest of the conversation.

      Happn is a bit of a serious app. I would have loved some deliberately bad pictures and weird discriptions. It would have given me enough material for a great blog post, haha.

      Thanks for wishing me luck, I'm afraid I'll need it XD

  3. I am so glad I came across your blog xx
    Good luck with your dating app! This post was beautifully written by the way. It kept me interested. ❤️❤️❤️

    1. I'm glad you like it :) Hope to see you drop by again :)

  4. When I read this, it was sad at first but then the last phrase says something different. So there actually might be a great guy for you out there and the chances seems to be good. :P hahaa I really hope you get your true love. :) Btw that smacking in the face with a dictionary was hilarious. But it is true. That is a huge turn off. I can't wait to see your next post!:D Hopefully there is great news ^_^'

    1. I hope I find true love too, but if I find it with a dating app... we'll have to wait and see what happens. Smacking people with dictionaries should be allowed btw. Kids would learn to spell so fast if this was their punishment for spelling mistakes :P
      Next Dating App Diaries post will go up in a little over a week, so stay tuned :)

  5. I'm sure the right guy is out there somewhere! I love your writing style as well :-)

    1. Thank you! I'm not so sure but I'll keep looking :P

  6. This had me giggling loads - love this, your writing style is too good, it's just like having a chat on Twitter :') Looking forward to the update! xx

    1. Thanks Gwennan! ^-^ I've heard it said before that I write just like I talk, I guess I should stick with it :) The update will come within the next two weeks!


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