How to Make a Speech Sound Silly

by - 1:11 PM

If everything goes according to plan, I'll get my diploma on June 26th. A four hour ceremony will take place on that day in the school hall. I had no idea how this could possibly take four whole hours, but now I know. Part of the tradition, part that I never knew of, is that the mentors of the graduates tell a little something about their graduates.
My mentor is a good guy, but when he handed out the sheets with questions to base his speeches on, he should have known he was making a mistake. S.D. and I did mine together, which always means ridiculousness. My mentor surely wasn't expecting this to happen.

Name: Envy Fisher

Study: German at Hogeschool Rotterdam (decided to switch from English to German at the very last moment)

What are your positive features?

  • sense of humor!!! (says S.D.)
  • smart
  • great memory for pointless stuff, like the number of days left till the next Marvel movie (see 'things I'll remember')
What are your negative features?
  • Too critical
  • Too much of a perfectionist
  • easily annoyed
  • known for holding grduges
  • good at hating stuff I'm not good at
  • way too good at listing my own flaws
What will you always remember from your time at Krimpenerwaard College?
  • S.D.'s doodles in my math notebook
  • the releasedate of every Marvel movie
  • our hilarious math day in 11th grade
  • Maze's smelly lunches
  • the Tale of the Drowning Otter
  • the bench and plant from the administration area
  • Hodor (S.D. and I used to talk like Hodor during math)
  • Potoooooooo (we switched to Potoooooooo when we got bored with Hodor)
  • C6 (I could explain this, but it'll make me look like a stalker, so I won't)
Anything else on school, yourself or your plans for the future?
In a few years I'll be living in San Francisco with a man who also hates Superman :)

I can barely wait till June. This is going to be one hell of a speech!

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