It's that time of my senior year again: exam week! It's fun for all, except the seniors...
After dedicating half of my break to school, I didn't want to go back. I felt like I wasn't prepared for it, mostly because this week would start with Dutch, the subject I had almost failed last time...
Every time I looked at the clock this morning, I thought: nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
Sadly, that was the most intelligent thought I had today.

Replace scantron by dictionary and you know how I felt

Last time I went into exam week, I had nightmares. First up was History and I kept dreaming about 1473. I still have no idea what happened in 1473.
This time I slept well. No nightmares. Only waking up with my head in the clouds - clouds of fear.
Dutch is one of my better subjects, so I shouldn't be worrying about it. But last time I scored only 5.7 out of 10 points. Yes, that is bad and when you're name is Envy, it's a down right disaster. Today I had the chance of getting that grade up by writing. This exam is all about blurting out as much facts on a piece of paper as you can. It's got nothing to do with the kind of writing I like.
I decided to take the pen E. gave me for my birthday. Thought it would bring me luck. Until I realized I had no clue where I'd left it. My thoughts went from 'nope, nope, nope, nope, nope' to 'where's my pen, where's my pen, where's my freaking pen?!'
After running up and down the stairs twice, I remembered where I'd left it. By that time my mother thought I'd finally gone fully crazy and wanted to get me on medication...

Before the exam started, I was talking to L. and V. about the upcoming exams. Turned out I wasn't the only one who was scared out of her mind. You should have seen my at this point, holding on to my favorite pen as if the world was going to end if I let go of it. Then I checked my phone and found out I had a message from E. that came in with a six day slight delay. Not only did that message make my day, it also felt like a sign: everything was going to be fine.

At 8.30 the big moment was finally there. I could go into the gymnasium and save my grade. Instead, I went nope-nope-nope-ing again when I saw my assignment. 'Write a piece based on information you got through interviews'.  I looked at my drafts. I had nothing about interviews. Luckily I had the option to choose between two assignments. The second one was a whole lot easier. Now, seven hours later, I feel like I aced that assignment!

My day wasn't over just yet. We still had to go through another one of those vague Social Studies tests.
All my friends where in the library, studying their brains out. I was sitting inbetween M. and Roos, still going 'nope, nope, nope, nope, nope'.
I heard everyone talk about integration an segregation and the Islam and Christianity. I only said: 'Nope, I'm not going to study until the last second. No point in that, nope.'
13.30 and our test began.
14.10 and I left. Once again, I felt like I aced it.

So yeah, I was stressed. But for once, I had faith in myself (yes, that's a first). Maybe I should always go 'nope' when I have to go through exam week. Going into exam week without expectations makes coming out without dying or killing your last three brain cells a whole lot easier.